


Taking care of the baby

by Fandomnerdiness (joshifine7)



Series: A Little Family [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Big Brother Sam, Comfort, Cribs, Daddy Castiel, Daddy Gabriel, Diapers, Family Feels, Gen, High Chair, Infantilism, Little!Sam, Non-Sexual Age Play, baby!dean - Freeform, big!Sam, bottles, more tags to be added later, supportive brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-08-17 07:03:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 44,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8134714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshifine7/pseuds/Fandomnerdiness
Summary: When both Castiel and Gabriel have to be away, it is up to Sam to look after baby De.





	1. Sam's thoughts & where is Gabriel?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Steelybo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steelybo/gifts).



> This is a prompt from Steelybo. It has taken ages for me to get to, but I hope it's ok! Although I will try and update as often as I can, work is pretty hectic so my updates won't be as frequent as they have been over the summer. Oh the joys of working in a school....please be patient with me!  
> The prompt is:  
> I would love to read of Adult Sam being required to take care of Baby Dean by himself and for an extended period of time. I imagine Sam being hesitant but really wanting to show everyone that he can step up to the plate and be a trusted and valuable extra support for his brother. (similar to how you had Sam trying to be for Dean what Dean was for him as a child and Sam wanting to repay Dean in kind). I'm a sucker for both angst and hurt/comfort so making the boys have to work for it, but having them come through the situation with stronger commitment, trust and appreciation for each other is always a plus. Extra love sent your way for relationship affirming/comforting-giving, physical affection between the two, maybe an examination/discussion/realization of how all that male posturing they (Dean, I'm looking at you) do as adults hinders their relationship rather than bolstering it. 
> 
> We'll see how this goes!  
> Notes:  
> Note 1: This is part of an on going verse and some reference will be made to features of other stories - e.g. about Dean's blanket, going to the specially built park etc. It may be helpful to at least read the first fic in the verse which sets everything up, but this should be able to be read alone.  
> Note 2: Gabriel is Sam's Daddy. Sam ages to around 4/5 years old when regressed.  
> Note 3: Castiel is Dean's Daddy. Dean ages to around 1/2 years old when regressed.

Sam walked down the corridor, intent on getting to the kitchen and grabbing himself a large cool glass of water. He had spent the last few hours working out and meditating in the home-gym he had asked Gabriel to install and now he was feeling good but in serious need of refreshment. As he walked, he contemplated how nice the past couple of months had been.

Over the last several months hunts had been coming fairly regularly, but Gabriel had found time to make sure that Sam had some little time in between if he had needed it. Cas had of course done the same for Dean, but whereas Sam had taken his angel up on the offer, Dean hadn't really felt like going into his little-space as often. 

That isn't to say that Dean had been actively avoiding being little - it was that he was happy being "Big" during those times and had simply rested as an adult. 

It had been around about a week since Sam had come out of his little headspace and he had spent the time since relaxing around the house as his usual grown self. He had spent time reading, gently exercising, watching movies and catching up on some of the fun little activities that often got neglected while he was out hunting. All in all he was in a pretty good mood. 

As Sam finally made it into the kitchen, he poured himself a tall glass of water from the pitcher that was cooling in the fridge, then lent back against the counter-top as he sipped at it slowly. As he looked around he saw signs that Cas and Dean had been by recently. For on the counter was a nearly empty bottle in needing to be washed as well as a bib that was covered in the remnants of some meal or another. Looked like the pair had indulged in a late lunch. Which probably meant that the other members of his family were in the nursery for De's nap time. 

Yes. Just before Sam had emerged from his regressed state, Dean had found himself slipping into his own one. After so long without regressing, Dean had finally felt the need to let himself go. He slipped hard and fast into his little headspace and had spent the last week or so as Castiel's happy baby boy. Cas was delighted as although he had enjoyed the time he spent with adult Dean, he had missed his baby boy fiercely. 

Sam remembered that his little self had been overjoyed to have his baby brother to play with again, but all too soon he had emerged from his little world so they had not had much time to be little together. Sam had had to content himself with interacting with the baby in his adult mindset. 

It was fine, but Sam still did not have much experience playing with baby De while he was an adult. It was getting easier for Sam, but he couldn't say is was completely easy yet.   
Sam had been taking his cues for how to act from the angels and mostly copied the things they did with the baby. 

It had been easier before Gabriel had left Sam mused. Before the archangel had left to take care of some pressing business a few days ago, he had been Sam's guide for how to interact with the regressed version of his brother. As Gabe was used to being Dean's uncle, he provided an easy link for interaction. Sam could just join in with Gabe when the angel was watching or playing with De. 

Actually, it had been nice to just hang around with Gabe as equals for a while, rather than as father and son. Gabriel had been trying to teach Sam how to cook, and Sam had been attempting to get the archangel into yoga. Something that would provide endless teasing fodder for years to come Sam was sure. 

Since the older of the two angels had gone however, Sam had found himself with more time by himself than he had otherwise expected. He didn't mind of course - it was just different. After spending his whole life sharing his time and space with others in small motel rooms , time to do as he pleased on his own was rare and unusual. 

Cas had of course chatted to him when he was about, but he had been distracted by all of the things that came with taking care of a young baby. 

Figuring that this was probably one of those times, if Cas was indeed trying to get his brother to have a nap, Sam took his drink out onto the deck to sink down into the comfortable porch swing. He intended to make the most of the stillness he found himself with, and so pushing himself back and forth gently, Sam looked out onto the fields surrounding them and enjoyed the warmth of the early afternoon sun, the coolness of his drink and the comfortable ache he had created in his muscles over the last few hours.

It wasn't too long however before Sam sensed movement and he looked over just in time to see Castiel emerge from the house and come to join him on the swing seat. 

"Hey Sam," the angel greeted as he made himself comfortable. "Good work out?"

"Pretty good" Sam smiled, then asked "De asleep?"

"Yeah" Castiel said through a tired puff of air as he settled himself back against the cushions. He pulled a baby monitor out of his pocket to balance on the seat next to him before he continued. "I got him off about half an hour ago and then did a few odd jobs around the nursery before I came out. De was tough to get down today." Cas paused here to smirk wryly at the younger Winchester brother. "He kept saying something about wanting to play with Sammy. Sorry, but I promised him a game of cars on your behalf. I hope you don't mind!"

Chuckling, Sammy waved off the apology. "It's no problem man. I'm happy to play cars. How long do you think De'll sleep for?"

"I'm hoping a good hour or so more. But if he lasts another half an hour I won't be upset."

"Well," Sam laughed, "I'll keep my fingers crossed for you dude."

The pair lapsed into a comfortable silence for a while, the only sounds being the peaceful sounds of nature around them, the swish of the swing as it rocked back and forth and the quiet sleepy noises from the sleeping Winchester that would come through the baby monitor intermittently. 

The quiet was broken a few moments later by Sam who casually asked "Have you heard from Gabriel today?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. He sends his greetings and regrets that his business will keep him away longer than he initially thought" Castiel said thoughtfully, eyes drifting skyward as he spoke of his absent brother. 

"Oh. Right" Sam said. He was slightly disappointed that the archangel wasn't going to be back soon, but he understood that the angel had duties that needed seeing too occasionally. He imagined it was how Gabriel felt when he wanted Sam and Dean to come spend time at the house but they were detained by a pressing hunt or two. Shaking the thought away Sam asked "Did he say what the business was?"

Castiel cast him an assessing glance before opening his mouth to speak. Sam wasn't offended, he was used to these gazes now. The angels often gave them to him or Dean when they were trying to see if they were "big" enough to handle what they were about to tell them. The angels were just making sure that there was no trace of the boy's little personas to make sure that the information they passed on would not upset someone unequipped to handle it. It was smart really. 

"Gabriel is having a meeting with several of our brothers. Raphael has been trying to stir up negative feelings again and is talking about some of the changes we have made to the structure of garrisons and the movement and treatment against souls. Basically he is trying to bring about negative feelings against Gabriel."

Sitting up straighter Sam asked with alarm "What?! H-how? When?" He didn't know how to process this information. 

Turning to face Sam more full on Cas said seriously "Sam. Calm down. It is absolutely fine. I promise you."

"But you just said that…" 

"I said that Gabriel is having some talks to find out what is going on. He is not panicked. Gabriel is not worried. He knows what Raphael is trying to do and he is finding ways to stop it. Please do not worry. Everything is fine."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked, worried about the missing angel. "Raphael is dangerous!"

"We know Sam" Castiel said soothingly, placing a hand comfortingly on the young man's hand. "We know. That's why we are taking the news seriously and why Gabriel is taking his time to straighten things out. I didn't tell you to worry you. We have this all under control. Trust me."

Sam studied his friend's face for a moment, seeing nothing but honesty and concern written there. And the concern was for him. Not the older angel. Castiel truly wasn't worried.   
Letting out a long breath and sinking back down to relax against the back of the seat Sammy sighed "I do trust you. Like you said. I'm sure it'll be fine. I'd just like it it Gabriel was home."

"Me to Sam. Me too," Cas agreed as he gave Sam's arm a comforting pat, then withdrew his hand to settle back more comfortably himself. 

Quiet settled over the pair again as they became lost to their own thoughts. Soon however it was disturbed by the sounds of the missing Winchester beginning to stir crackling over the baby monitor. 

Castiel gave the device an assessing look before turning back to Sam and saying "Well it looks like your brother is waking up. I'd better go and get him before he works himself up. Want to come with?"

Sam took a second before accepting the angel's offer. Going to see Dean would be better than sitting here and thinking about what he had just heard. "Sure. Why not. I think I have a game of cars to play anyway right?", Sam smiled. 

Cas just grinned from where he now stood and offered a hand to pull the younger Winchester brother up. 

Grabbing the hand and gaining his feet, Sam followed his angel friend to go and get his brother up from his nap.


	2. De wakes up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see what De thinks as he wakes up from his nap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short look at what De thinks about when he wakes up. Sorry for the ubrupt ending but it seemed like a good place to stop so I could shift perspectives a little bit in the next chapter

De wiggled himself about as he found himself coming slowly back into awareness. 

As a hunter, Dean had been trained by John to always be aware of his surroundings. This was especially important after being asleep or unconscious, as the situation around them might have changed while they were unaware. John had drilled into Dean the importance of doing a subtle check of his surroundings with his senses after waking up - without alerting any potential threat that he was in fact awake. It had become so routine to Dean that he wasn't even aware that he was doing his wake up check anymore. 

The check was such a part of Dean that it had also carried over into baby De's life. 

So, subconsciously, De began his waking routine and spread his senses out from where he was lying in his crib to find out what was going on around him. 

As De shifted his body slightly he found himself lying face down on his tummy wrapped comfortably in warm blankets, and flinging out a subtle hand also discovered that he was surrounded by hard wooden bars. Ah. So he was in his crib. That was ok. That was pretty safe De figured. 

As De squirmed about to bury himself in the warmth of his blankets more, he unfortunately discovered that his bum was all wet and on something squishy. That was less good. De scrunched up his nose at the thought that he had a wet diaper. Not fun. Still warm though so he probably only wet it recently. 

Giving an experimental lip smack, De found that he still had his pacifier in his mouth which made him hum with contentment as he struck up a rhythmical nursing pattern on it as he squirmed his way around to lying on his back, still wrapped comfortably in his blanket. 

That achieved, he lay still for a few more moments, appreciating his comfy position before he stretched out his senses again. This time he found that the room around him was pretty quiet. The only sound was an occasional twinkling bell chime, which De could only assume came from the mobile that hung above his head. It played soft tunes and twirled slowly when it was on, but if it moved slightly when off, sometimes whatever made the music would make small chiming sounds, though never progressing into full music. 

It was a pretty nice sound really. Gentle and not disturbing. De often lay in his crib and watched his twirling mobile and listened to its noises - tune or not. Daddy had done a pretty good job of picking out a mobile, though of course De had initially protested that he didn't need one. 

The central part of the mobile was a shiny silver moon, and from it hung stars in different shades of blue, grey and white. Simplistic, but kind of mesmerising for De to look at. De really liked it now, and he wouldn't want it to be taken away. 

Prying a sleepy eye open, De found that - yep! It was definitely his mobile making noises. It was spinning around ever so slightly, so it must have been moved by a draft or something. De let his eyes adjust to the dim light of his nursery and he lost himself in watching the lazy movement of the stars above him. He just watched, shuffled around comfortably in his blankets, and suckled contentedly at his pacifier. All in all, things seemed pretty good for De. 

As De crawled slowly back to a fuller form of wakefulness, he suddenly realised something very important. Even though he had heard the noise of his mobile, he had heard absolutely nothing else. No gentle humming. No rustling movements. No sounds of hushed chattering voices in the background. 

No signs that his family was anywhere nearby. 

But. But that was not right! Where were they? More importantly….where was Daddy?!

Daddy was always nearby when De woke up. But he wasn't here now! He could be absolutely anywhere!

Sitting up in the crib and using his fists to scrub at his still sleepy eyes, De made sure to look around just to make sure that Daddy wasn't hiding out somewhere he couldn't see him before. 

No sight of him. De was definitely alone in the nursery. And that wasn't right. 

To De, the cozy world he had woken up to seemed to dim. Suddenly the calming dim light seemed too dark. The room was too quiet. And he was getting more uncomfortable now that his diaper was cooling off.

No. De didn't like it. And only one person could make things better. 

"Da-daddy?" the baby called out tentatively, hoping that his Daddy would suddenly appear and make everything better. That happened sometimes. 

After waiting for what seemed like forever, but what was actually only a couple of seconds, De's breath hitched as he called again a little louder "Daddy?"

Looking around, still expecting a sudden appearance of the angel he had called, De began to sniffle softly and whined around the pacifier he had begun to suck with more ferocity. 

No Daddy? Maybe Daddy wasn't coming? But…but what would De do? He needed Daddy! He wanted Daddy! De didn't want to be alone in the now scary nursery!

Unknowingly, De began to whimper out his distress as his anxiety began to escalate. Tears gathered in the baby's eyes as he started to get worked up. 

Wait! What was that?! There was noise coming from the hallway. A thumping sound and something that sounded like voices. But…who could it be? A lifetime of hunting knowledge flowing through his head, all De could think was that it was probably a monster coming to get him. 

De couldn't deal with monsters right now! He was too little! How did monsters get into the house anyway? Maybe they got in 'coz Daddy was gone!

Knowing he didn't have any weapons, De did the only thing that made sense to him at the moment, and quickly flinging his blankets over his head, he scrunched himself down under them to hide until the monster had gone away. 

De whimpered and clutched his blanket tighter as he heard the nursery door creaking open which allowed more light to flood the room. He sucked frantically on his pacifier in an attempt to calm himself as he felt the terrified tears that had been gathering begin to run down his cheeks. 

De tensed up as heard the footsteps approaching, and positively shook as he sensed a hand reaching down to grip the edge of his blanket. . 

Oh where was Daddy!? De needed Daddy to save him!

Suddenly, De felt the blanket being pulled off him, and he was being pulled up and out of the crib by some very strong hands. Wiggling as hard as he could and letting out a loud cry, De knew he couldn't let the monster get him!

"Hey. Hey. What's all this squirming for? Are you being a wiggly worm for Daddy baby boy?"

Huh? That wasn't something a monster would say! In fact…. that sounded like….

"Daddy!" De squealed as he opened his eyes and saw that it was his Daddy who had a hold of him. His desperate wiggling changed from a frantic attempt at escape to a need to get closer to his Daddy. Luckily Daddy just settled him on his hip and De was able to cling to the man, wrapping his arms tightly around the angel's neck. Then, still a little bit freaked out at what had happened, De allowed himself to cry out his fear and now total relief into his Daddy's shoulder. 

"Hi there baby boy! Oh sweetheart, what's going on? Where'd all these tears come from hey?" De heard his Daddy ask, and then felt the angel begin his familiar dance of bouncing Dean and swaying around the room. 

De let himself cry for a little while - releasing the stress that had built up in him after the scare. But he soon found himself responding to his Daddy's ministrations and allowed himself to slump in his Daddy's arms and relax. 

"There. There now. That's better. No more tears." With his head practically resting on his Daddy's chest by this point - De having curled up in the embrace that much - De basically felt more than heard what his Daddy was saying. De really loved his Daddy's rumbly voice. 

"Were you hiding when Daddy found you De?" came the question from somewhere underneath him. De just nodded his head in answer, which added the nice sensation of Daddy's comfy jumper rubbing his cheek nicely. The baby started to hum in pleasure as he allowed his eyes to slipped closed again. Now that he was safe and he had his Daddy, sleepy comfort was taking over again. 

"You were? What were you hiding from?"  
Oooh that patting on his bottom was nice. Making De feel so sleepy! Though Daddy did need to know…so very sleepily De mumbled "Mons'er".

"A monster! Oh no! Well I'm glad you were hiding baby, I wouldn't want you to get eaten. Though I promise you, there are no monsters in this house. Nothing will get you baby. You're safe sweetheart."

By this point De wasn't really listening to what his Daddy was saying as he was becoming so lost in the rhythmic patting and the warmth of his Daddy, but he did manage to make a vaguely agreeing type noise in acknowledgement. Of course he was safe. Daddy had him.

Daddy and baby swayed for a few more seconds before Daddy asked "Are you going to wake up and say hi to Sammy now De? He's waiting over there to see you!"

Jerking his head up, De came face to face with his gently smiling brother who was lurking in the doorway. What? When had Sammy got there?!


	3. Wake up time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean wakes up feeling a little shy but his brother and Daddy talk him around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So sorry about the wait for this chapter. I ended up having to go to hospital for a few days due to some pretty severe tonsilitis, and in the few days since then I've been feeling too crappy to write. Real life kinda sucks atm. 
> 
> This is a kinda non-chapter as really nothing much happens, but I think its cute and I like it so.....yeah. Plot will probably start happening more in the next one. Hope you like!

Sam lurked just inside of the nursery doorway and watched as Castiel got his brother up from his nap. Despite hurrying inside they had heard over the monitor as De started to ask for his Daddy and then start to cry. They couldn't get there quite fast enough. 

It didn't matter too much though as Cas was an expert at calming the baby down when he got worked up. Sam looked on and watched as Cas's bouncing, swaying and patting worked to get his brother to relax. It was amazing how Dean always responded to Castiel no matter what state he was in. Even when he was big, Dean always seemed to respond to Castiel's voice or gentle touches. Though, Sam mused, he probably did the same when Gabriel was around. This age play had really strengthened their relationships and improved them all for the better. 

Sam was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of Castiel drawing De's attention towards him. "Are you going to wake up and say hi to Sammy now De? He's waiting over there to see you!"

"Hi De!" Sam greeted and raised a hand to wave as soon as he saw that De's head had shot up and that the baby was looking at him with startled green eyes. Obviously De hadn’t been aware that he was even in the room. 

He had to repress a chuckle only a moment later as De buried his head right into Castiel's neck and clung onto the angel tighter in an effort to hide. 

"Oh! Have you gone shy baby?"

There was no reply from De, but Sam could see how his brother clung tighter to Cas and began to blush slightly. Sam decided to step in and see if he could help at all. 

"Hey there De. Did you have a good nap?"

De's blush deepened and he whined a little as he squirmed in an attempt to bury himself even more into his Daddy which prompted chuckles from the two other people in the room. 

"Oh sweetheart, don’t be silly. It's just Sammy. He's seen you lots of times baby. Is this just because you only just woke up?" Cas asked as he gave the baby a gentle bounce in his arms and had a go at getting the hiding De to look at him. De just made a vague moaning sensation as he continued to try and keep his head away. 

"Don't worry Cas, I know he's still basically asleep. It's not a problem," Sam chimed in, trying a new tactic. "I guess I'm just gonna go and play cars by myself ok?"

De's head turned ever so slightly so that he was still mostly hidden but he could ever so faintly be heard whispering "Cars?"

Catching on to what Sam was doing Cas continued talking to the other man rather than address his baby. "Ah, ok Sam. I'm sorry about that. I really thought that De might want to play with you, but I guess he's just too sleepy still."

De was by now watching carefully between the two other people, half hidden in his Daddy still. One hand had released its grip on his Daddy's shirt and had snuck up so that De was sucking on the tips of a couple of fingers. 

Aware that he was being watched Sam continued "Nah, it's no problem man. Like I said I'll just go and play cars on my own. I guess I'll see you guys later?" With that he ever so slowly turned and started to make some movements towards the door. 

Just as he had expected, after only two or three steps a timid voice called out "Sammy?"

Turning back and making sure his voice was light and airy Sam asked "Yes De?"

Head still only half visible, one bright green eye was watching Sammy curiously as De timidly asked "C-cars?"

"Yeah" Sammy said, a smile brightening his face as he turned back to fully face his brother, "I'm going to go and play cars. Wanna come?"

De studied Sam seriously for a few moments before extracting his fingers from his mouth, pulling himself more upright and tugging on his Daddy's shirt while looking up to make eye contact with the angel holding him. "Daddy? Cars?"

"Oh? You want to go play cars now? You weren't going to say hi to Sammy before!"

De's head whipped around to fire out a quick "Hi Sammy!" before it was back facing the angel and asking "Cars Daddy?"

Chuckling at his baby's antics Cas bounced his boy in his arms and agreed "Yes, cars! Though don't you think you can ask Sammy if he wants you to play with him? He seemed pretty set on playing cars on his own just a moment ago."

It was clear that De was thinking hard for a moment - obvious shyness taking over his features again - before he once again turned to his brother to timidly ask "Sammy? De play cars too?"

A gentle smile still playing out on his face Sam readily agreed. "Oh yeah. It'd be much better playing cars if you came too De. Thanks for coming to play with me. To be honest, I really didn't want to play on my own!"

De sat up straighter in his Daddy's arms and bounced a little as he became excited. "Cars! Daddy! Cars!" He made movements to indicate that Castiel should be taking them over towards Sammy. 

Laughing, Castiel said "Alright, alright! Hold your horses De. I'm pretty sure you're going to need a change before you start getting involved in a complicated game with your brother. Let's get that sorted, then you can go." He began to make his way over to the change table in order to put his charge down. 

"Noooo Daddy! Cars!" De moaned as he was pushed back to lie down on the table. 

"Yeeeeesssss Deeeeeaaaan" Cas chimed as he began undoing the poppers on his son's trousers to gain access to the squishy used diaper inside, "We need to get you all clean and dry for playtime."

"Hey it's ok De. I'll wait, don't worry" Sam chimed in as he made his way to lean against a side of the crib. He would leave, but he sensed that his brother wouldn’t be too co-operative if he went right now. No. It was better to stay and just avert his eyes a little as his brother got changed. It was embarrassing, but nothing he hadn't seen before. He'd seen De get changed many times before when he himself was little, and having grown up in close quarters together made it so that walking in on Dean in compromising situations was not uncommon. 

Best to make the most out of the situation. Sammy struck up a small conversation with his brother to keep him distracted while Cas took care of cleaning De up and getting him changed. "So, De. What car are you going to be?"

Although blushing slightly, Dean managed to give his brother quite an incredulous dirty look as he replied "'Pala" - the implied duh! clear. 

"Stupid question huh?" Sam chuckled as he turned and examined the insides of De's crib. Flipping up the corner of the pillow he discovered - yep! there was De's blanket - all screwed up and still warm from sleep. He left it where it was and began fiddling with some of the other stuff in the crib - dislodging a pacifier that had become wedged between the mattress and the crib bars and playing about with some of the other blankets and lone bee stuffed toy that littered the bed all in an effort to give his brother the illusion of privacy. "Well alright, if you're gonna have the Impala, which car do I get to use?"

"Uhh Mustang?" De thought out loud.

"The red one? Or the blue one?" Every person in the house was intimately familiar with all of De's car collection as he liked to show them off and explain about them regularly. Unlike most of De's toys which were chucked haphazard into a toy box - like most of Sammy's toys - De's car's each had their own garage and separate place to park. Cars were definitely something special to Dean. Big or little. In fact, though he would deny it, Dean had been caught looking at and studying most of the toy cars while big - making sure that they were in their correct place. 

"Red."

"Ok cool. Sounds good to me" Sammy smiled as he turned back around to see that Cas was now done with the diaper change and was re-poppering the legs to De's trousers.

"Well. Now we have a clean baby, shall we make our way down to play cars?" Cas commented as he hauled Dean upright and then pulled him into his arms once more. 

 

"Yeah! Cars!" De crowed and clapped his hands happily as he allowed himself to be readjusted. 

"He seems to have woken up a bit!" Sam chortled as he held the door open, grinning as he took in the sight of his excited brother.

"Yep! Which means we should definitely get going before this baby turns into an impatient wiggle monster" Cas replied. "I sure hope you have a lot of energy Sam. I have a feeling you're going to need it!" With that last parting comment as they left the nursery, the small family headed down stairs to finally begin playing for the afternoon.


	4. Playtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam plays cars with Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah ok I lied. This is kind of another non-chapter of fluff. Screw it, it's cute and the stuff I needed to get through will just make the chapter pretty long so it's best to separate it out I think. As you will see from the end of the chapter...plot is imminent I promise.

Castiel had carried Dean through to the living room where he had deposited him on the soft carpet that lined the floor. As Sam had lowered himself to the floor, Dean had hauled himself up to his hands and knees and crawled over to his ready-made garage and pulled out several of his favourite cars. 

The cars all came from the same collection. A new series had come onto the tv involving cars with personalities that interacted with each other around the town they lived in. There were standard everyday cars, very old vintage cars like the model T, a bunch of trucks, emergency vehicles and of course a selection of classic cars. The show was meant for toddlers and De had been completely captivated by it.

Sam had unknowingly stumbled upon the franchise when searching for a toy to give his regressed brother one time when he was sick. Looking around the toy isle, his eye had been caught by the chunky toddler-ised version of the Impala that had a cool expression on its 'face'. The character was apparently called "Chevvy", but De exclusively referred to his toy as "'Pala" or "Car". Once Cas had found out that there was a TV show involving the cars, he had shown it to De and the baby was hooked. He wanted to collect all the cars and often demanded the show be put on when it was TV time. 

So De had grabbed "'Pala" and the chunky red mustang as well as a truck, police car and Ferrari and had dragged and pushed them along the floor until he had crawled back to where Sam was sitting. Sam accepted the cars with good grace, knowing that these were best for his brother to play with right now. He knew that his own little self had several matchbox type metal cars buried somewhere in the toy box, but he didn't feel like being vigilant enough to supervise Dean with them while they played. Using the matchbox cars would mean that he would have to watch that De didn't put any of the cars in his mouth in case some of the parts came off. Sure Dean was big enough physically that the parts wouldn't do too much harm, but it was a hassle he could avoid. Best to stick to the safe toddler friendly cars. 

Sam drug over a play-mat that had a town system and roads marked out on it and had started a game with De pushing the cars about the town. He had made it a mission to collect spare parts which he decided to make out of De's Duplo. This game had continued for a while, Sam mostly letting De do what he wanted and vaguely commenting on what was happening every now and then. All in all it seemed that De was pretty chatty today as he would tell Sam where the cars had to go or what they were doing. 

While they were playing Castiel moved about the house doing some mundane tasks such as washing bottles and clothes or generally tidying up. He came through occasionally to check that they were both ok or one time to deliver some drinks - a cup of coffee for Sam and a bottle of water for De - but mostly left the brother's to their own devises. Sam found that he preferred this as he felt a little bit self conscious playing with his regressed brother while he himself was still big, but he could just get on with it without anyone watching. 

Soon enough De appeared to get bored with the game and began to crawl over towards his toy box that was stored at the side of the room. 

"Where'ya goin' bud?" Sam called as he watched his brother move over to the side of the room. 

"'Pala broked" De replied as he flipped the lid of his toy box and plopped down on his bottom and began to rummage around inside of the box.

"Oh no!" How'd that happen?" Sam asked as he shuffled his way over to his brother and made to lean back comfortably against the wall so he could watch what De was up to. 

"Engine" De said bluntly as he was busy rummaging, though he continued "An', an' da wheel falled off!"

"Ah man. Sorry to hear that. Poor Impala" Sam sympathised, trying to keep his voice sounding sincere despite that a happy smile was breaking its way across his face. His brother was being pretty cute after all. 

"Poor 'Pala" De parroted distractedly causing his brother to have to frantically squash the grin that split his face suddenly. 

A second later De apparently found what he was looking for and Sam smiled to see his brother pulling out the chunky plastic tool kit. De plonked it down on the carpet, then opened it up to grab a hold of the plastic spanner and a plastic screwdriver - the second of which he thrust towards Sammy with a grunted "Uh!"

Sam had only a second to grab a hold of the toy before De was off and crawling back over the carpet to retrieve his favourite toy. Not a moment later, De was back, Impala in hand and was sitting before his brother gently placing the car back down on the carpet. Then De picked up his spanner and began wiggling it around over the bonnet of the car toy. He did this for a moment or two before looking up and fairly sharply demanding "Sammy!"

Sam, who had been lost to his own thoughts whilst watching Dean's actions startled and asked "Huh? What?"

De pointed a determined finger towards the car and exclaimed "Sammy! Fix!"

"Oh right!" Sam said as he sat himself up and held his screwdriver ready. He sat stock still for just a second before having to ask "Uh? De? What am I supposed to be doing?"

De fairly visibly rolled his eyes before snatching hold of the screwdriver Sam was holding and jabbing it at the Impala and its wheels. It was obvious he thought he brother was being dumb when he added "Fix!" before thrusting the toy tool back into Sam's hands. 

"Ah ok" Sam said pretending like he had any idea what De actually wanted him to do and just began to poke the screwdriver at the side of the car, hoping that it was enough. He felt ridiculous, but his actions appeared to have appeased his brother so he kept at it. 

He felt equal amounts of embarrassment and relief when Castiel entered the room soon after and came over to them, snagging Dean's as yet untouched bottle of water along the way. 

"Hey guys, how are things going?" the angel asked as he stopped before them. 

"Look! 'Pala fixed Daddy!" De exclaimed proudly as he gestured to the car on the carpet that looked absolutely no different than it had all day. 

"Oh yes, I can see you've been making lots of repairs. You're car's looking great baby, you two must have been very hard at work" Cas praised as he looked over the car carefully before running a hand over De's hair in a proud and caring gesture. Sam felt a blush spreading across his cheeks as he was caught playing. 

Castiel deliberately ignored the younger Winchester's slight distress and bent down to look straight at his baby. "Well, it seems to me that you must have been working really hard this morning sweetheart. Why don't you have a drink break huh?" He handed over the bottle to De who accepted it and stuffed the nipple of the bottle into his mouth where he began suckling strongly. 

"There. I bet that's nice. Now," Cas said as he straightened back up to standing again, "While you have your drink, do you mind if I borrow your brother for a moment? I just need to talk to him about boring grown up stuff."

De looked between his Daddy and his brother, keeping up his drinking the whole while before giving them a small nod and releasing a hand to push his car about while still holding his bottle and suckling with the other. 

"Great. Thanks baby" Cas commented as he bent down to kiss the top of De's head, then he extended a hand to pull Sam to his feet. 

Once Sam stood again he took a moment to stretch out his limbs which had gone to sleep before following the angel's lead into the kitchen, glancing back over his shoulder to see his brother playing contentedly before he left the room. 

"You needed something Cas?" he asked as he took a seat at the kitchen table in his usual spot where another cup of coffee was waiting. He might actually get to drink this one as he had been too distracted with Dean to have more than a sip of the other cup the angel had made. He fiddled with the wicker placemat in front of him while he waited for his friend to speak. The colourful dinosaur mat had obviously been put away to wait for the next time he was feeling little. 

"Yes. Now don't panic, but there's been a slight complication" Cas started his tone placating. 

Sam felt himself sitting more upright and tensing up, the angel's words doing nothing to reassure him.


	5. Castiel reveals his news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel informs Sam that he needs to go assist Gabriel and Sam promptly freaks out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behold! Plot!
> 
> Thank you for all the get well wishes, they are very sweet! I am feeling much better now but still a little weak from the illness. I'm sure I'll be back to full strength very soon :)

There was a sudden tense atmosphere in the kitchen following Cas's declaration that there had been a complication with Gabriel's business in heaven. 

"What do you mean complication?!" Sam demanded. "Is Gabe alright?"

"Sam! Sam! Calm down! I meant it when I said not to panic. Gabriel is fine" Cas hurried to reassure, "He's absolutely fine. I promise you he's fine."

"If he's fine then what's the problem?" Sam asked, making an effort to calm himself so that he could listen to Castiel properly. 

"Well. You know I told you earlier that Raphael was trying to stir up some trouble in heaven? Trying to gain some followers that share the views that Gabriel's restructuring of heaven is against the natural order of things?"

"Yeah. But what exactly are they against? I though Gabe said he had made changes for the better?" Sam questioned curiously. He was pretty sure that Gabriel had told them all that he had tried to make sure that the angels were not as completely regimented and restricted by protocol as they had been before and during the apocalypse.

"There aren’t many of them Sam. Honestly. Most angels are happy with how things have been going. They are more free to follow God how they choose. I think that many found it hard at first as they had always been told what to do before, but now they can see the benefit of serving God in their own ways."

"Ok. So what's the problem?"

"It's just that while Raphael hasn't got many followers as yet, they do seem to be quite vocal. They've called a mass meeting of angels to discuss matters and Gabriel is worried that without some backup they will be able to sway many more angels to his side" Castiel said, patiently explaining what had been going on. Truth be told, he was more worried about the situation than he was letting on. Raphael could be very persuasive, and if he got enough followers serious trouble could be brewing in heaven. No one wanted to end up with another apocalypse or smiting between the angels again. 

"That does sound bad" Sam agreed. He could see why there was an issue…but…"Why are you telling me this?"

"Well Sam…"and here Castiel paused, seemingly assessing his words before he spoke, his nervousness becoming apparent now. "Gabriel has asked that I go to heaven to back him up during this meeting." Cas let the statement hang in the air for a moment. 

"Um. I guess that makes sense. He wants you there to support him" Sam scrambled as he tried to process what his friend had just said. "But…but you can't go. You have De today."

"Exactly. Therein lies our biggest problem" Castiel stated finally before a moment of quiet fell over the kitchen.

Sam broke it a moment later saying "Will it matter if you are not there?"

"Hard to say. Gabriel has called some of our other siblings that are known supporters of his changes - you remember Hannah and Balthazar right?" Sam nodded, so Cas continued, "But…well it's well known how close Gabriel and I are so if I'm not there then it could be taken that I am against him. Which obviously couldn't be further from the truth."

"So yes then?" Sam clarified.

"Yes."

There was quiet for a moment more before Sam broke it once again. "What are you going to do? You can't leave Dean alone with how he is at the moment."

"No. No I can't" Castiel said seriously and levelled Sam with a firm and serious gaze.

It took Sam a few seconds but then… "No! No! No no no no! Cas you can't be serious!"

"You know I wouldn't ask you if it were not serious Sam" Cas tried to placate, aware of the near pleading nature of his tone.

"I can't Cas! I can't look after De! It's weird!" Sam protested, panic colouring his voice as it flooded through him completely.

"I disagree that it is weird, seeing as we are all familiar with age-playing at this point, but I do understand Sam. I understand how it would make you uncomfortable to have to look after your currently regressed older brother, but really it is the only option I can see. I wouldn't ever ask this of you if I had another option."

Sam hadn't really heard what his friend had just said as he was too busy mentally freaking out. "I, I , I, I don't even know how to take care of him! Dean's basically a baby right now and I have zero idea of how to take care of a baby! And…and…it's Dean! It'd be so awkward!"

"I'm so sorry Sam. I know that this is an unfortunate situation and if I could find another solution, then I'd take it. I just don't want to leave Gabriel without backup when he's specifically asked for it." Castiel knew it was being a little bit unfair to bring Gabriel into this situation as it would play on Sam's concern for his friend, but he only spoke the truth. If he could spare Sam this situation then he would. Cas wasn't too happy about having to leave his baby either. 

"Ah man Cas! You know I can't do this! I can't do this!" Sam sputtered, his initial loud panic giving way to a quieter more deeply felt worry.

"You can Sam. You're great with De!"

"How can you say that?!" Sam whispered harsly. He was aware that his brother was in the next room and didn’t want him to come and investigate the loud noises. Now was not the time for De to be about. "I hardly spend any time with him! And even then you or Gabe is about to actually look after him! I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing most of the time!"

"Sam, you are being very harsh on yourself. You are fine with De! And I know you haven't really looked after him but you are so good with him. You can tell in all of your interactions" Cas countered calmly, still having that undertone of pleading in his voice. 

"But…but…"

"De absolutely adores you Sam. If he is going to be comfortable with anyone while I'm not here, it's definitely going to be you."

There wasn't a lot that Sam could say to that because he knew it was the truth and it took a lot of steam out of his argument. He felt himself sinking back to rest weakly on his chair as he contemplated the angel's words. 

In every way possible, even though they never said it, or even alluded to it often, Sam knew without a doubt that his brother loved him. It was hard to deny when Dean had spent his whole life sacrificing himself in nearly every way imaginable all for Sam. Despite all they had been through and all the arguments and trials they had faced, Sam knew that Dean loved him. Had never ever doubted that fact. 

When regressed, De's love for his brother became even more glaringly obvious. He adored his brother and you could see the love shining brightly from De's expressive green eyes. No matter if he was interacting with little Sammy, or big Sam, De looked at his brother like the taller man hung the moon and stars in the sky. 

In the absence of Castiel or Gabriel, there really was only one person left who De would trust to look after him. Sam. There was no other option, and this thought hit Sam hard.   
There was no other option for Dean, but really, did he deserve any less? Dean had taken care of Sam for his whole entire life. And he had probably not had a clue what he had been doing as he had mostly been raising Sam while still only a child himself. But he still looked after his younger brother and did his absolute best despite probably having no idea what he was doing. How could Sam do any less for his brother?

Besides. How hard could it be? Ok. Dean was a baby right now, but he was still physically a fully grown man. There's no way that Sam could break his brother while looking after him right?

Sighing deeply, Sam looked up to meet Castiel's hopeful gaze and said "Ok. Ok, I'll look after De while you go to Gabriel."

"Thank you Sam. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me that you are willing to do this."

Raising a hand to scrub the back of his head nervously Sam replied "Hey. Its uh, its ok man. Don't worry about it."

"Just so you know though. I am aware of how difficult this will be for you - how uncomfortable it is making you, but I can think of no one finer to take care of De in my absense" Cas intoned, sincerity flooding through his voice.

"Hey. No chick flick moments right?" Sam chuckled nervously, desperate to break the emotion of the moment. True to his Winchester heritage Sam did not deal with emotions if there was any other option. 

"Ah yes. I remember now of course" Cas said gently, a small smile finally breaking through on his face as he regarded the younger of the Winchesters. 

A silence once again settled over the kitchen as the pair sat in a semi comfortable silence. 

It was Sam who spoke up again, ever so quietly muttering "I still have no idea how to look after him."

"I will write down instructions for you, do not worry. Mostly you will just need to keep him safe and vaguely on the schedule I have set him up on" Castiel said with a glance in Sam's direction as he snagged a stray piece of paper and began scribbling down times and instructions. "You really shouldn't have to do much. There are bottles and things prepared in the fridge. I think maybe make him some dinner, don't bother about a bath, breakfast should be simple enough…."

"Breakfast?!" Sam found himself inadvertently shouting, "How long do you think you're gonna be gone?!"

"Overnight definitely I'm afraid" Cas said regretfully as he continued scribbling, "Angel meetings tend to go on a little bit as we do not really have time constraints in heaven. It's very tiresome I assure you. But with luck I will be home sometime early tomorrow. By lunch or dinner at the latest."

"Oh God!" Sam groaned, sinking his head into his hands and allowing his fingers to thread though his long hair. What the hell was he going to do for all that time?

"Sam, it will be fine. You will be fine, I promise you. I have every faith that you and De will come out of this completely fine."

"Thanks Cas " Sam replied wearily, "though I'm still not sure that your faith has been well placed here."

"It will be fine" Cas stated once more, "Just follow the instructions and your instincts. And I'm pretty sure De will be good for you and will help you out. He'll give you clues for what he needs as well. He's somewhere in the middle of the age range he regresses to at the moment, so he'll probably be able to tell you what he needs for the most part rather than you having to rely on his non-verbal clues."

As if summoned by the mention of his name, De chose that moment to come crawling into the kitchen, going straight towards where Castiel was sitting. Once he reached the angel's feet De plopped down onto his bottom and raised his arms up into the air in a silent request that his Daddy pick him up. Castiel of course obliged and scooped De up to settle on his lap whereupon De wrapped and arm around his Daddy's neck and rested his head on the man's shoulders, slipping his thumb into his mouth.

Sam just looked upon his brother and felt the uncertainty that had never left him bloom back to full strength. How was he going to do this?


	6. Sam and Cas break the news...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Sam break the news about Cas's departure to De.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this chapter. Admittedly I like the start more than the end... but there you go! I like the fluff! I had so much fun writing the first part, I think that a lot of you will like it! The second half is sadder though...sorry about that!

De watched his brother carefully from his curled up position on his Daddy's lap. Sammy was looking at him kinda funny. Something was definitely up and De wanted to know what it was. 

Ever since Daddy had come into the family room earlier De had known something was going on. When Daddy suggested that he and Sammy go into the kitchen De had wanted to go with them 'coz he didn't like being all on his own. But Daddy said that he and Sammy were going to do boring things and that De should stay where he was and play. So despite not wanting to be by himself, De had stayed where he was and drank his bottle up and had played with his 'Pala and tried to be a really good boy for his Daddy. 

But Daddy and Sammy had been gone for forever! De had drunk all of his bottle and his 'Pala needed to have a rest after being worked on all afternoon so De had nothing to do. He was bored and lonely and he wanted his Daddy and Sammy back. So De had decided that if they weren't coming back, he would just have to go find them. De had climbed to his feet and begun to make his way to the kitchen but found himself tripping on the edge of the play mat that Sammy had put out earlier. It had hurt a little bit when he fell down, but De was actually a very brave boy so he didn't cry or anything. He just got onto his knees and crawled the rest of the way to the kitchen where he had found his Daddy and immediately demanded to be picked up. If Daddy hadn't picked him up De was well prepared to make a fuss - he had been left all by himself for ages after all! - but luckily for Daddy he had given in immediately and let De snuggle into him.

So now De was all cuddled up with Daddy and something was definitely going on. Sammy really wasn't looking good. He was all pale and his face looked funny like he had had a shock or something. Maybe he was poorly? Distantly he heard his Daddy asking "You get bored with being on your own baby?" which De made a noncommittal sounding noise to as he was thinking so hard. 

Daddy was starting to say something again but De cut him off suddenly sitting up straighter and getting his brother's attention. "Sammy?"

"Y-yeah De?" Sammy replied stutteringly. Yeah there was something definitely wrong with Sammy. 

"You need kisses make it better Sammy?" De asked completely innocently and very seriously. He took his brother's health very seriously after all!

A very startled look crossed over Sammy's face as he almost jumped in his seat at his currently little brother's question. What? Where had that come from? Castiel meanwhile had caught on to De's train of thought after the question had been uttered and was desperately trying to stiffle his giggles as he began to bounce his baby on his lap. 

"You need kisses Sammy?" De asked again, even more seriously than he had a moment ago. 

"D-do I need kisses?" Sam stuttered again completely confused and looking helplessly between his currently little brother and the man that served as the boy's Daddy, desperate to gain insight into what was going on. 

"I think De's asking if you need something to feel better Sam" Castiel chimed in as he took pity on the floundering Winchester before him. "If De is feeling poorly or is hurt or something I give him kisses to make it all better. I think De wants to know if you need kisses to make thing better? You do look a little shell shocked" the angel couldn't help but snigger as he trailed off. Honestly his baby came out with the cutest ideas at times and it was hilarious watching the effect it was having on Sam. 

"Uh…um….uh….No!" Sammy finally managed to fling out over his suddenly numb tongue. Did he need kisses? No! What in the world! "No. No thank you De. I…I'm fine thank you!"  
De however was not convinced. He knew his Sammy and his Sammy was not fine. He narrowed his eyes as he regarded his brother, totally not buying whatever his big brother was saying. "Sammy" he drew out slowly, still watching the other man, "No lie Sammy. Naughty." Daddy said it was very naughty to lie when you were feeling icky, and De knew that Sammy was not telling the truth. 

"I…I'm not lying De. I'm fine. I promise!" Sammy protested. He couldn't believe that he was being interrogated by a baby right now. Wasn't he supposed to be looking after De right now? Then again, he thought, no one was ever going to be able to stop Dean from looking after him, no matter if he was grown up or regressed. It was just an integral part of what made Dean…Dean. Sam didn't really know why he was surprised any more. Of course Dean was going to see something was up. He was just too good of a hunter and big brother to miss something even slightly wrong with his number one charge. Even if he currently was in the mindset of a baby. 

De however just gave his brother a sceptical look and completely bypassed his brother's words and turned to his Daddy (who weirdly looked highly amused) and expectantly demanded "Daddy! Kisses!" 

That brought Castiel up short. "Huh? What? De?"

De gave his Daddy a look clearly implying that his Daddy was being stupid. "Daddy" he said slowly, "Kisses!" and then pointed over towards his brother. 

Catching on finally, it was Cas's time to stutter. Where did his boy come up with these ideas? "Oh. Um. De, don't you think that Sammy needs kisses from you to make him better? I think kisses from his best baby brother would be best" he wheedled, hoping against hope that De would think this option was best. He had a sinking feeling that he knew what was coming next though. 

"No. Daddy kisses best." De said with an air of finality and looked very expectantly at his Daddy before turning to give Sammy a smile. De knew exactly how to make Sammy better. Daddy kisses were the absolute best thing to make yucky feelings go away. De was totally oblivious to the awkward atmosphere he had now created in the kitchen as the two other men looked at each other with embarrassment. 

Sam tried again. "De. De I'm fine really. It's very sweet of you but I don't need any kisses to make things better. I'm fine."

De was not having any of it however. He wiggled until his Daddy helped to put him safely on the ground and then he looked at his Daddy expectantly - crossing his arms across his chest. "Daddy. Sammy kisses!"

Cas knew his boy well and knew that once his mind was made up - especially over something to do with Sam - then there was no changing it. Best to just get this over with and move on. He caught Sam's eye and realised that the man in question had obviously come to the same conclusion. 

Flashing a very appologetic look to Sam, the angel made his way over to where the younger man was sitting and bent down to give a very awkward and very quick kiss to the top of the man's head before pulling away as fast as possible. He once again stuttered his words as he said "There. A-all better."

Face a bright and deep shade of embarrassed Sam stuttered his own reply of "Th-thank you Cas. I feel much better now."

From his seated position on the floor De smiled, very pleased with himself. Well done De! Sammy did look much better! He wasn't as pale and weird looking now. Though he was an interesting shade of red. He didn't know why Sammy was embarrassed. It was nice to get kisses from Daddy! Sammy was just weird!

Pleased with how things had turned out De just squealed happily and raised his arms indicating that he wanted Daddy to pick him up again, which of course Cas did. Instead of sitting down again like he thought would happen, Daddy just held De close in a hug and bounced him a bit. De giggled at the sensation. 

Cas needed just a moment to come down from his embarrassment at the situation he had somehow been manoeuvred into. He had no problem with kissing Sam - but it was usually when Sam was little and Sammy. Not the fully grown adult before him. It didn't matter but he knew it was not how they usually operated in their friendship. He bounced his baby for a moment as he allowed both him and Sam some space. 

Eventually getting back to his chair at the table and settling De on his lap comfortably he said "There we go. Thank you for looking after your brother De. That was very sweet."

"Yes. Thank you De. I'm all better now" Sam chimed in, a faint blush still colouring his cheeks as he looked over to the cuddled up pair. 

De just smiled happily and settled back to lean against his Daddy comfortably - sticking a thumb in his mouth for good measure. He did good!

The pair watched the happy baby for a few moments, allowing their residual embarrassment to fade and their own thoughts to run through their heads. De was blissfully unaware as he happily sucked his thumb and sunk into the comfort of his Daddy. As far as he was concerned things were perfect. 

Little did he know this perfection was about to be shattered. For above his head Cas and Sam's eyes met and with a nod from Sam the pair agreed that it was time to tell De about his Daddy's departure. It couldn't be put off forever after all and Cas would need to leave soon. 

"Um, De? Baby? Can you look at Daddy?" Cas asked hesitantly.

De made an agreeable sound around his thumb and leant back so that he could peer up at his Daddy curiously. 

In order to make them both more comfortable, Cas adjusted De so that the boy was now reclining - head supportively cradled in the crook of a strong arm. De smiled at the adjustment and relaxed in his Daddy's hold, waiting for whatever it was his Daddy needed from him. 

Cas couldn't help but give a somewhat melancholic smile as he gazed down at the boy who was watching him so innocently and trustingly. What they had really was special. Cas took a moment to think about how he was going to break this news to his baby. 

His thoughts were interrupted a moment later as he felt a hand gently patting at his cheek. It seemed that De had reached a hand up to get his attention and was now patting at his face. De was looking up at him curiously as he sucked gently on his thumb. 

"Sorry baby. Looks like Daddy spaced out there for a moment" Cas apologised and reached his own hand out to give De's tummy a small tickle - prompting squirming giggles from the happy boy in his lap. Glancing up briefly Cas saw Sammy watching them nervously and decided that he just needed to get on with this - for the sake of all of them - rather than drawing it out. 

Resting his hand flat on De's stomach, Cas began to rub small circles as he began to talk. "De? Do you remember when Uncle Gabe went away a few days ago? So that he could go and do some work up in heaven?" He paused here and gained a small nod from the boy in his lap. "Well. It turns out that Uncle Gabe's work is a little bit harder than he thought it would be and he needs Daddy's help. You understand so far baby?"

De gave his Daddy a funny look. Of course he understood. He wasn't stupid! He glanced over at his brother to see what he thought of what Daddy was saying. Sammy looked pretty serious and was looking at Cas really hard. Hmmm. Maybe he should pay attention….

Cas continued talking as soon as De looked back towards him again. "To help Uncle Gabe Daddy's going to need to go up to heaven for a little bit."

De's sucking on his thumb slowed down a little. That sounded reasonable….but….De couldn't go to heaven….

De pulled his thumb out of his mouth with an audible pop as he worriedly asked "Daddy?" One of his hands grabbed a hold of his Daddy's shirt and fisted in it tightly. 

Sensing the worry rising in his boy Cas hurried on. "It's ok baby. It's ok. Daddy needs to go help Uncle Gabe for just a little bit, but it's ok because you're going to stay and have lots of fun with Sammy! Sammy's going to look after you!" He tried to make his voice and demeanour as cheerful as possible as he spoke but he wasn't sure how well he was managing to pull it off. 

De tensed as he laid cradled in his Daddy's arms. Daddy was going? And leaving De?! He didn't like the sound of that! He tightened his fingers in his Daddy's shirt and tuned his head to look worriedly over at his brother. 

Sammy was looking back at him and he looked worried too. But he was giving De a smile as well. De was confused. What did that mean? With his free hand De stuck some fingers in his mouth and began to chew on them gently. He didn't know what was happening!

Sam saw as his brother began to get worried - the fingers in his mouth being a dead give-away - and decided to try and step in. He was still really nervous about having to look after De but he didn't want his brother to pick up on that. Glancing ever so briefly at Cas who was looking absolutely miserable Sam refocused his attention on his baby brother who seemed seconds away from crying. 

"It's ok De. Your Daddy's not going to be gone for very long. We'll have lots of fun while he's away and I'm going to be right here all the time. I'll look after you De. I promise." He just hoped that his own nervousness didn't creep into his tone. It wouldn't do for De to pick up on it. 

De looked carefully at his brother while he spoke. He seemed pretty cool with all of this. but De wasn't so sure. De turned back to his Daddy to see what he was thinking and as he did so he let out a little whine of distress, lower lip wobbling dangerously as he fought off tears. He wasn't sure he liked what was happening. 

"De. It's ok, I promise" Cas said as he tried to make his face reassuring. He wiped away a few tears that had begun to trickle its way down his baby's freckly cheeks. "Sammy's going to take such good care of you and Daddy's not going to be gone for very long. I promise. I will come back as soon as I can."

De reached up to wrap himself around his Daddy - burying his face into his Daddy's shoulder as he gave into the scared tears that had been building for the last few moments. He didn't want Daddy to go! Daddy was supposed to stay with De! De felt his Daddy's arms wrap around him cuddling him tight and rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"Oh baby" Cas sighed as he held his baby tight, "Daddy's so sorry he has to go. You know I'd never leave you if I didn't have to. But I promise, you will be fine here with Sammy and I'll be back just as soon as I can." Cas felt his own tear run down his face as he hugged his baby. He really didn't want to be going. He hated any time he had to be away from De when he was little, and his baby being so upset didn’t help with what he was feeling. 

Sam looked on helplessly as he watched his friend and brother holding each other miserably. He felt for them, he really did. He knew he hated it when he was little and Gabriel had to leave. It was made better though when he knew his uncle was around - and he supposed that that was exactly what De was feeling right now. 

Sam wasn't upset that De was crying at being left with him. He knew that it wasn't anything against him - it was just his brother's reaction at his Daddy leaving. To be honest he kind of felt close to tears himself. He really had no idea what he was going to do for the next day or so. But he would soldier on. He had to. 

Cas let his boy cry for a while and muttered reassurances in his ear the whole time. But eventually De's tears started to abate as he gave into the comfort Cas was freely offering. Cas supposed that it was time.

Signalling Sam with an eye glance, Cas adjusted De so that he was in a secure grip and stood, making his way into the family room. He heard Sam following behind them. Gathering his courage, Cas steeled himself for what was coming next. 

Standing in front of the sofa, Cas signalled that Sam should sit down - and as soon as the younger hunter was settled, Cas gently placed De down on the cushion next to him. As Sam wrapped his arms around his brother and held him close, Cas began the process of extracting himself from his baby's grip. It took a while but eventually Cas was free, but he grabbed a hold of the boy's grasping hands as he crouched down to talk to his baby. 

"De. De. It's ok sweetheart I promise. I promise you it will be ok. Look! You're all cuddled up with Sammy!"

De who had been sniffling softly as his tears softened but didn't stop turned his head to look at his brother who was holding him tight. He did feel safe with Sammy, but he just wanted his Daddy!

Patting awkwardly at his brother's back Sam chimed in "Yeah. It's ok dude. I'll look after you till your Daddy gets back. We'll be fine."

De studied his brother's face and saw how sincere his Sammy was being. He loved Sammy and he knew he'd be ok but he was still sad. He hiccupped back a sob as he turned back to look at his Daddy. Daddy looked really sad. De guessed that Daddy didn't want to go either. De tried really really hard to be brave, but he couldn't stop the tears from trickling down his cheeks. 

His Daddy must have known what he was trying to do though because he said "I know baby. You're being so brave for Daddy. You're going to be fine with Sammy. I promise." With that he pulled his hands away and stood up. 

Cas turned his attention to Sam as he pulled away, unable to stand the almost heartbroken look his baby was giving him. Despite knowing that De was going to be fine, he couldn’t believe how hard it was to leave his baby. Addressing the currently older Winchester he said "The notes are on the kitchen table. Everything you need to know is on there. But don't worry. You will be absolutely fine. Have faith in yourself Sam, you will know what to do. And I promise, I will be back by dinner time tomorrow at the latest."

"I know. We'll be fine Cas. Just….come home soon" Sam said with what was supposed to be a reassuring smile. Cas appreciated the effort none the less. 

Cas turned his attention once more to his son who was still crying gently. He needed to go, but was finding it to tear himself away from the boy who was still reaching out for him. Knowing that it would be for the very best he ran a hand over his baby's cheek and said softly "I will see you tomorrow De. Be good for your brother ok? Daddy loves you baby. Daddy loves you". 

And with one final loving look, Cas vanished, leaving the two brothers alone in the house.


	7. In the aftermath of Cas leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam thinks about several things while he sorts out his upset baby brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not really happy with this chapter. It was painful to write as I didn't have many ideas. Also - once again I'm ill. Seriously this is the 5th time I've had tonsilitis this year!
> 
> I have ideas for where to go in the future though so hopefully inspiration will come back. 
> 
> Thanks for any prompts though! Ive had some exciting ideas suggested which I'm excited to work on at some point. 
> 
> So....I hope this chapter isn't too bad and I'll see you again soon...

Sam and Dean sat looking at the blank space before them that had previously contained a concerned looking angel. Now they were alone. 

De stared at the empty space before him in silence. Sam looked at his brother carefully, unsure of what his reaction would be now that the angel had disappeared on them. 

Sure enough, it only took a moment before De's face began to crumble and he dissolved into some quiet yet sobbing cries, tears streaming down his face. 

Sam could only sit and watch as his brother completely broke down before him. To be fair he had expected this reaction. Had known it was going to happen just as soon as Castiel announced that he was leaving earlier. Nearly every time Castiel had to leave for a while - usually only a matter of hours in order to help out a sibling, go shopping or some other business - De would end up crying. It wouldn't matter if he had been perfectly happy moments before or if he was being looked after by Gabriel, the baby would end up in tears at the loss of his main caregiver. 

It was something that Sam couldn't really relate to. When he was a small child he had never really been affected by John leaving. His Dad had come and gone frequently and It had hardly ever gained a reaction from his younger self. He knew that Dean had gotten a worried look on his face, and Sam could distantly remember his brother asking for his Dad not to go. But it was very hazy and in his memories Dean had been very young. Sam knew that Dean asking his Dad to stay hadn't happened very often - mostly he figured because John had never listened. 

But Sam? Sam hadn't been bothered by his parent leaving for days or weeks on end. No. Sam hadn’t been bothered because he hadn't really lost anyone special. Dean had always been with him. Always. The provider of food, love, fun and comfort was always with him so he had never had cause to get upset. By the time Sam had started to be left alone when Dean accompanied John on hunts, Sam had been old enough to understand what was happening and that his brother would (baring some horrific incident) always be coming back. He worried for his brother, but didn't get upset at his leaving.

So no. Sam couldn't really relate to his brother's current grief, but he could understand the source of it. When he imagined what he would have felt had Dean been the one to leave when he was little he got a strong ache in his chest. It wasn't a pleasant sensation. 

But for right now? What was he supposed to do to help his brother?

The problem was solved for him not a moment later when his brother did the unexpected and turned to launch himself towards Sam's chest. Sam was rocketed back against the cushions as his brother grabbed at him and buried his face against his chest. 

All Sam could do was wrap his arms around his brother to hold him close. Not really sure of what he was doing he began rubbing a hand up and down Dean's back in a way he had seen Cas and Gabe do when hugging the baby. He found himself making gentle hushing noises as he held his brother. Sam was still fairly shell shocked at being left to look after De, even though he had known it was coming. 

Soon however he felt De begin to wiggle in his arms, so he loosened his hold and allowed his brother more freedom. All De did though was adjust himself so that he was resting a little more comfortably against Sam - head coming to rest on Sam's chest, and a hand came up so that De could slip a thumb into his mouth. De still let out sniffling cries and hiccupping breaths, but he did appear to be calming down. 

As awkward as he thought it was going to be having his brother basically snuggled up to him, Sam found that it just felt natural. A wave of calm washed over him as he felt De take a deep hitching breath against his chest. 

As he continued to rub a soothing hand down De's back he said "It's ok De. I'm here. I'm right here and you're ok. Cas'll be back soon alright? And we'll be ok until then. I'm going to take real good care of you De. I promise."

Sam felt his brother twisting his fingers about in his shirt and just about caught a very little and broken sounding "Sammy" come from his brother.

"Yeah buddy?" Sam asked, attempting to tilt his head in a way so that he could see his brother's face but due to the way Dean had curled into him he could basically only see the top of De's head. 

De just sighed again and snuggled his head into his brother again with another tired and muffled sounding "Sammy". 

"Ok De. Ok. We'll just stay here for a while. We're fine right here De. We're fine right here."

The brothers sat for a while Sam continuing to rub his brother's back soothingly. Eventually Sam felt De settle down and instead of having a hand clutching at his shirt, he felt De start to fiddle with the buttons on it instead.

"How you feelin' now De?" Sam asked as he pulled Dean back from him slightly. He wanted to be able to see his brother properly. 

De just made a slight grumble of protest as he was moved from where he had been tucked under Sammy's chin but allowed himself to be readjusted. As soon as he stopped moving he continued playing with Sammy's shirt buttons. They were kinda fun to twiddle.

"De? You ok?" Sam asked again, wanting some kind of confirmation about his brother's state of mind. 

De just made another non-commital kind of sound around his thumb but did lean back to look up into his brothers eyes. He was all worn out now after crying and didn't really know what to do now that Daddy was gone. He wanted Daddy!

Sam saw that his brother was wavering again - could read the sadness in De's eyes and saw the slight tremor of his brother's bottom lip around the thumb that was firmly lodged there. He needed to distract his brother - and quickly!

"De? Doesn't your Daddy say that you shouldn't suck on your thumb?" Sam said and tried to tug on his brother's hand to pull the thumb out of said mouth.

"Mmmm!" De grumped crossly, turning away and trying hard to keep his thumb exactly where it was. he needed it!

"Come on. I know Cas doesn't like it and neither do I. Your thumb's probably got loads of germs on it. Take it out" Sam insisted tugging a little harder. 

"Noooo!" De whined and pushed against Sam until the larger Winchester released him. De scrambled off of the sofa to sit on the floor, thumb still stuck firmly in his mouth. He looked up to give a baleful glare to his brother. 

Well Ok, Sam thought. De was grumpy at him. Not the plan, but at least he wasn't crying for his Daddy. That was something. He did need to get on top of this though - to show he was in charge, even though he felt no way near in control of the situation at hand. 

"Yes De. You are not sucking on that thumb. How about we go find you a nice clean pacifier instead huh?"

De sat and looked at him for a moment before slowly nodding and asking somewhat sceptically - as if unsure Sam would actually give him one - "Paci?"

"Yep. We'll get you a nice clean pacifier. I know there's one in your bedroom. Shall we go get it?" Sam inwardly sighed in relief. One crisis seemingly averted. 

De had watched his brother again for a moment before taking his thumb out of his mouth with a wet pop saying "'Kay Sammy". He stood up and watched Sam, waiting for something. 

Sam stood and waited as well. Wondering what they were waiting for. Why wasn't Dean moving?

Then it struck him. He was supposed to lead the way. 

For their whole lives Dean had lead the way. He had always taken the first step - whether it was into the hallway or straight into danger. Or if not physically in front, Dean gave the orders that got them moving. Dean was always in front - showing his little brother the way and leading him forward. It was just how things worked. Big brother was always in charge.

But De wasn't the big brother was he? For now - it was Sam. 

And De it seemed had gotten used to being led by the "grown-ups" around him. Not having to take that first step. 

De was obviously waiting for him. 

Sam hesitantly extended his hand and just like he thought De instantly took hold of it. 

"Come on then De. Let's go find that pacifier for you". And with that gentle comment Sam began to lead his brother towards the nursery. 

As they climbed the stairs Sam considered the fact that it had only been about twenty minutes since Castiel had left and he had already had several insights into his brother that he would never have thought about otherwise.


	8. Interactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and De spend some time together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, this is pretty short so I appologise for that, but I have a feeling that the next chapter will be longer. You'll see why at the end of this one.

When they reached the nursery, Dean immediately gave a happy squeal and dropped to the floor to crawl over to the empty crib. Sam kept an eye on him while he made his own way over to the changing table that had a draw he knew Castiel kept spare pacifiers in. Selecting a light blue one Sam turned to see what had made his brother so happy. 

He shouldn't have been surprised. Dean was now sat right beside his crib and rubbing his "blue blanket" all over his face. The ratty old t-shirt had belonged to Castiel and now was De's most favourite thing in the world. Even the Impala had to come second when De was little - something once thought impossible. 

It was a very cute sight and one that Sam wouldn't have minded just watching for a while. But, unfortunately, De had begun to suck his thumb again while snuggling his blanket. Sam would need to intervene. 

Walking over, Sam reached his brother and bent down in order to gently pull the thumb back out of the baby's mouth with coaxing words of "I thought we decided that sucking on that was yucky?"

De's attempt at a whine was aborted before it could really begin as Sam pushed the pacifier into his mouth. Sam had to chuckle at the startled look that crossed De's face as the soother entered his mouth before the baby accepted the new object and began to suck on it with a hum of contentment. 

Straightening back up Sam gazed down at his brother fondly. "That better?"

De hummed happily again and lifted his head to give Sam a smile that could just be seen peeking around the edges of the mouth-guard of the pacifier. De was pretty happy. He had a binky and his blankie and his Sammy! Things were pretty good. Raising an arm, De held out his blanket to show Sammy. Look! It was his blanket! It was pretty exciting and De decided Sammy needed to know. 

"Um. You want me to have your blanket?" Sam asked confusedly. He didn't really know what De was doing so could only guess based on De's actions. De was holding the blanket out to him so maybe he should take it? 

Sam reached out to take the blanket but rapidly drew it back when De snatched it back out of his reach. 

De held his blanket close to his body but away from his brother. No! Sammy couldn't have blue blanket! De needed it! 

Sam was completely lost as he watched his brother looking up at him warily - as if he was going to do something bad. "Uh. Ok."

Both Winchesters stayed as they were for a moment before Sam - realising that he had made a mistake, but not knowing what it was - tried to move them on. "So. What should we play now De? It's up to you."

The baby sat watching his brother again for a moment, giving an obviously thoughtful and assessing suck on his pacifier before getting on his hands and knees and crawling over to the low shelving unit that held boxes of toys. He pulled a box from a shelf and up-ended it revealing a large amount of colourful wooden blocks which he immediately began to stack.   
Sam watched from where he was before cautiously making his way over. Still not sure what he had done earlier he wanted to tread carefully. "Hey De. What'cha building there?"  
De looked up and sucked innocently on his pacifier and shrugged before continuing to add blocks to his stack. 

"Oh. Well can I come play too?" he asked softly using an ever so slightly whiny tone. It was one that he wielded often and with good effect, accompanied by his "puppy dog eyes". This was the voice that had basically never failed to get him what he wanted - especially with his soft big brother. He just had to hope that it would still work on Dean while he was little like this. 

De just nodded again seemingly only paying attention to his blocks. Later, Sam wouldn't be able to say for sure but he swore that he had seen a hint of Dean's signature smirk from behind the pacifier. Maybe Dean knew more about Sam's use of the voice than he had thought. For the moment though Sam just settled himself down on the plush carpet near his brother and grabbed his own blocks. "Thanks De. Blocks seem like loads of fun. 

The brothers played next to each other for a while Sam attempting to chat occasionally but feeling awkward as De was more focused on sucking his binky than chatting. To be honest Sam felt kind of stupid just sitting and placing blocks on top of each other, but staying with his brother was important so he got on with it. That didn't mean that he stopped his mind from wandering though. 

Every so often De would give a little squirm before settling down again and continuing to build. Sam noticed but paid it no mind as he allowed his thoughts to drift.   
Not too long later however the squirming became too much for him to ignore. "De? You ok over there?"

"Yeh" came the distracted reply. To Sam, it seemed like Dean was blushing and avoiding eye contact as he shuffled awkwardly again, but he had no idea why that would be.

"So what's with all the wiggling going on?"

"Nmmmm" De whined a protest and got on his hands and knees again to crawl away from his brother. Sam watched him go, once again unsure of what was happening. Maybe Dean was just grumpy due to his Daddy being gone he thought to himself. Seeing Dean settle himself with a train that had been on the floor Sam decided to give the boy some space while he started packing away the blocks. Everyone had learnt very quickly that leaving the blocks lying around was a sure fire way to end up with painful feet. 

Task complete Sam turned to go and join his brother again when he finally figured out what was going on with his brother. 

For Dean was sitting across the room with one hand pushing the train back and forth and the other tugging at his crotch. It was an action Sam had seen many times before when his brother was in dire need of a diaper change. 

Oh God. 

A diaper change.

He was going to have to change his brother's diaper.


	9. The diaper change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time comes for Sam to change De's diaper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is! The diaper change. Hope you enjoy it....

Oh God. He was going to have to change Dean's diaper. 

All the panic about looking after Dean earlier and yet this hadn't crossed his mind. It really should have - then he could have made more of a fuss. This was so not on! He was not prepared for this!

It didn't seem like De was either. The blushing and avoidance made sense now. Dean didn't want Sam to change his diaper and so was trying to hide it. De was usually pretty good at making it known when he was wet but was now obviously going out of his way to hide the fact from his brother. 

The first thought Sam had was that of running. He just wanted to run away and completely avoid this situation. There was no way he could do this. 

But then, reality came crashing back to him and he realised that there was no way he could do that. Castiel was going to be gone for another day at least and he had left Sam in charge. He was going to have to fulfil his promise and take care of his brother to the best of his ability. 

Even if that meant having to perform a diaper change. 

A diaper change on his older brother. 

His older brother who despite being deep in his little headspace was obviously embarrassed and unwilling. 

Yeah. This was going to be easy. 

First things first. Sam walked over to crouch down next to his brother. "Hey there De."

De glanced up at him but swiftly returned his attention to pushing his train back and forth. 

Sam cleared his throat nervously and attempted to draw himself some courage before speaking up again. "Having fun with your train?" Bottled it again. 

De shrugged but didn't reply as he pushed his train. The baby gave a small squirm again but was obviously trying to hide the movement. 

Noticing the aborted movement Sam decided that enough was enough and he was just going to have to get on with things. Taking a deep breath he said "De. I can see that you're wet. You know we're going to have to change your diaper."

Dropping his train and spitting out his pacifier and instantly turning bright red De stammered out "N-no! Not wet!"

"You're clearly wet dude and I can see that you're uncomfortable. Let's just get this change over with" Sam stated watching his brother closely.

"NO!" De shouted screwing his eyes up as though it would make his brother go away. 

"Yes. You know we need to. Besides, you'll be more comfy when it's all done." Sam was aware that reasoning with De was not going to be particularly effective at the moment seeing as his little brother was nowhere near the right headspace needed to think logically about things, though he couldn’t help but try anyway. 

Sam was prepared for his brother to shout, yell or cry at him, but he wasn't prepared for what De decided to do next. De flung out one hand and shoved at his crouching brother while shouting "NOOOO!" before quickly beginning to crawl away. Sam could only stare open mouthed at the rapidly retreating form of his brother from his new position on his arse on the floor. 

That little shit! He never behaved like this for Cas or Gabe! Well no way was he going to get away with it now. Sam would be changing that diaper, whether Dean wanted him to or not!

Rapidly crawling after his brother with a loud cry of "Get back here!", Sam swiftly caught up and managed to grab a hold of one shuffling leg and pulled back hard, causing De to collapse flat on his stomach on the floor an "Oooph!" of air escaping him. 

Not that that stopped De for long as he began to squirm and wriggle, kicking his legs and arms out in a desperate attempt to escape from Sam's clutches. He continually shouted "No! Sammy! Off! No! No diaper! No!"

Grappling with his struggling sibling Sammy panted "Yes Dean! You need a new diaper and we are going to change you into one. Stop struggling!"

"No! No! No Sammy! Off! Oooofff!"

The brothers grappled on the floor for some minutes before Sam managed to pin Dean down basically by sitting on top of him and holding his arms still. That didn't stop De from wiggling and thrashing in his attempt to get away, but Sam had had enough. 

"Enough! Stop Dean, stop!"

Both brothers froze after Sam's outburst. De in shock that his brother had shouted at him, and Sam at the fact that he had actually done so. 

The stillness only lasted a second though as although De didn't try to get away anymore but instead seemed to lose all fight as he burst into loud gut wrenching sobs. 

"Aw De…" Sam sighed as he got off of his brother to kneel beside him, though he kept a hand on the sobbing baby's arm for comfort but also just in case De decided to take flight again.

De couldn't do anything but sob where he was on the floor. Truth be told he was really uncomfortable now with the cold soggy diaper clinging around his waist, but he desperately didn't want Sammy to change him. 

Thing was - he didn't really know why. De trusted Sammy, he really did, but there was this really deep part of him saying that Sammy shouldn't be changing his diaper. It was this strong part of him that sounded a lot like big Dean telling him that it was really embarrassing and wrong for Sammy to change his diaper. De didn't understand because that was something grown-ups did and Sammy was a grown up so surely there wasn't a problem? But he couldn't help but listen to that insistent voice inside of him. 

Overriding all of that though was the absolute need for Daddy. De just wanted Daddy. If Daddy was here then there would be no problems as he could just have let Daddy know he was wet and then he could have had his diaper changed and it would be all over. De would have no confusing thoughts in his head and he wouldn't be uncomfortable and Sammy wouldn't be cross. 

That thought made De sob all the harder. Sammy was cross with him now and he didn't know what to do to fix it. He didn't like it and he just wanted Daddy!  
"Da-a-a-dd-y-y-y!"

Sam knelt next to De and could only watch helplessly as his brother cried his heart out. He had no idea what to do. Part of him just wanted to sweep up his brother and hug him like he had seen Cas and Gabe do, but the other part just kept telling him that this was Dean and they just didn't operate like that. The two thoughts were cancelling each other out so that he ended up not doing anything. 

De's calls for his Daddy were what finally spurred him into action even as he thought 'yeah I wish Cas was here too'.

No matter what he was physically, Dean was currently a baby and no matter his lack of experience with them, he wouldn't leave a distressed baby to cry so he wouldn't do it to his brother either. 

Pulling his brother up into a sitting position he grabbed a hold of him and wrapped him up in his arms. "Oh De. It's ok. It's ok. I'm sorry I shouted before but you're ok. Everything's ok De I promise."

Sam kept up his chant of reassurances as he held his sobbing sibling and felt when De started to sag in his arms. He fell into using words and phrases that he had heard from the angels many times but never would have thought he would end up saying to his brother. "It's ok baby. You're ok buddy. It's ok baby. Sammy's here. I know you want Daddy and he'll be back soon, but Sammy's right here baby." 

As he felt De cling into him he felt his own chest tighten with emotion and had to supress his own tears. As De quieted he lowered his own voice to a whisper "It's Ok De. I'm right here. I'll look after you. You're ok baby, you're ok."

Eventually De's sobs settled into wet sniffs as he rested comfortably in his big brother's embrace. He was exhausted but he felt relaxed in Sammy's arms. As De settled down, Sam pulled the baby back to get a good look at him. Wiping tears away from a blotchy red face, Sam ignored the thumb that had found it's way back into the baby's mouth for the moment as he said "There. That's a bit better huh? No more tears baby, no more tears."

The brothers sat wrapped in each other's embrace for some moments. Sam startled slightly when he realised that he had begun to rock his brother slightly but realised just how natural it was. He kept up the motion until he felt his brother watching him and then decided that it was probably time to get on with things. He just hoped that what they had been through would help keep both of them calm. 

"So De," he said as calmly as he could manage as he kept rocking, "I think it's time we get that wet diaper off of you." Sam felt more than heard his brother's breath hitch. "I promise you that it will be ok. I'm right here and I promise that I will look after you. There is nothing to be scared about or worried about I promise you baby." He kept rocking as he could see De sucking on his thumb and watching him thoughtfully, even though he saw De's breath hitch with the start of more tears. "I promise you it will be ok baby. Please. Let me help you De."

It was this final plea that seemed to get through to De. Sammy really wanted to help him out. De didn't want to make things hard for Sammy, but it was so hard to let go of that big voice inside him. Though even that had quieted down after hearing Sammy's earnest tone. De just needed to be a good boy for Sammy. He would do anything for his brother - even if it made him feel all weird inside. 

As Sam saw De waver and then nod his consent he inwardly sighed with relief. De was willing to co-operate. That was half the battle over with. Now to get on with the rest of it.   
"Thank you De. I promise you'll feel all better when this is done." He pulled De up for a stronger hug and surprised himself by placing a kiss on his brother's temple. As he pulled away he saw the blush he felt creeping into his face echoed all over his brother. 

"Now. I have an idea. Why don't you go and find your pacifier again as I go get something special and set up your change mat. Can you do that for me De? Can you go find your paci?"

De nodded but was looking at Sam sceptically - unsure of what was going on. Sam knew that he needed to get things going so released his brother and gave him a little push to get him going. "Go on. Go get your paci and then come find me ok?" As De gave him an obviously worried look he hurried to reassure "I'll be right here ok. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here. Now go on. Off you go." He gave De a little push to get him moving and then watched as the baby began to crawl back to where he had been playing previously. 

Taking a deep breath to steady himself he also started to move quickly - wanting to have everything he needed by the time his brother returned. Whirling to grab his special object he then snagged the diaper bag that was resting against the change table - deciding that trying to get his brother onto the piece of furniture was probably a step too far for now. 

He had just managed to spread out the blue plastic change mat that was decorated with cars and trucks when he felt a small tug on the sleeve of his jumper. Looking around he smiled when he came face to face with his brother who was looking very nervous and holding out a pacifier in his direction. 

Deliberately lightening his tone he exclaimed "Hey! Good job De! You found your pacifier! And so quickly!" He faltered for a moment as De just continued to hold the pacifier out towards him. Taking it out of the baby's hand he then turned it around and offered it back to his brother - holding it out close to De's mouth. "I think that you need this De. I think it might make you feel better while we get you all comfy and dry again. Why don't you take it baby?"

For a moment it looked like De might not do anything as he sat watching Sam closely, but then to Sam's relief De leant forward and hesitantly opened his mouth to accept the soother. Helping to guide the object into his brother's mouth, Sam waited until he felt a suckling motion begin before releasing the pacifier and moving his hand to cup his brother's cheek. "Well done buddy. I bet that's nice huh?" Although he didn't get a reply, Sam took the strong suckling motions his brother was making as confirmation that having the pacifier was in fact a good thing. 

"Ok. Why don't you come over here De? Remember, everything is ok. We'll just get this over with and then we can go do something fun ok?" Sam just hoped that his brother would comply as he really didn't know how he was going to force his brother onto the mat otherwise. 

Luckily for him De crawled over and sat down on the mat, though his breath was hitching again around his pacifier and a few tears began to slowly trickle down over blushing freckles cheeks. 

Moving closer and cupping the back of his brother's head Sam began to support and ease his brother to lie down on the mat while soothingly saying "Ok baby. It's ok. Let's get you lying down and then I'll show you what I found."

The very minute De was lying comfortably on his back Sam reached back and snagged what he hoped would be his most helpful item for the next few minutes. Holding it out to show his brother he exclaimed "Look! It's blue blanket! I figured you might need your blue right now…"

He was about to say more but was cut off by De's desperate whine of want and by his brother basically snatching the soft shirt out of his hands. Instantly De was wringing the fabric in his hands and rubbing it all over his nose as he moaned unhappily in distress. 

De brought his beloved blanket up to his face as he rubbed it all over to feel its softness and to smell his Daddy all over it. He just wanted Daddy! He didn't want to be here right now! He wanted Daddy back now! Unconsciously he began to whine out his distress as more tears dripped down his cheeks. He did look up at his Sammy when he started to talk though. 

"Oh De I know. I know it's hard and I know you want your Daddy. I want him to be here too, but he'll be back as soon as he can alright? Right now you hold on to blanket ok? Keep blanket safe and it'll all be ok. Let's just get this over with as quick as possible yeah?"

As De didn't respond Sam just moved down towards De's legs and began to pull what he thought he would need from the diaper bag. Wipes. New diaper. Powder? Yeah probably he thought and pulled it out anyway. Things by his side he took a quick glance at De who was snuggling his blanket and began to pull apart the poppers that held De's trousers together. At least this part wasn't too hard. He'd had to cut trousers off of his brother and father before when they got injured on hunts so it wasn't too unusual for him. 

When De was free of his trousers Sam couldn't help but pause. Looking down all he could see was the bulky white of the diaper that was wrapped around his brother's middle and in between his brother's legs. This was it. This was the hard part now. 

Looking up at his brother's face he saw the baby looking at him carefully. The mouth guard of the pacifier was bobbing quickly in front of his mouth indicating that De was suckling frantically in his nervousness. De was clutching his precious blanket up to the side of his face and was flexing his fingers in it feeling the material. The baby's face was bright red and tears still steadily trickled down his cheeks. He was watching Sam nervously, though Sam could see the trust in his eyes as they locked eyes. 

De trusted him. Or maybe it was Dean. Whatever. His brother was putting his trust in him and he wasn't going to let him down. Time to get on with it. 

"Ok baby. Let's get this done huh?"

Taking a deep breath and settling his nerves Sam reached out and began to pull apart the tabs holding the diaper together. 

With one last look at his brother and flashing him what he hoped came off as a reassuring smile Sam pulled open the diaper. 

Ok. Ok. He could do this. Slipping his arm under De's knees he pushed them towards his brother's stomach in order to move De enough so he could pull the wet diaper out of the way. As soon as it was clear he lowered Dean back down and balled the used diaper up and put it to the side. 

Grabbing a handful of wipes Sam turned back to his brother and blush rising moved to clean wipe his brother clean. At the very first touch of a wipe to his groin Sam felt De jump and suck his breath in. Immediately after De began to wiggle and squirm his legs as he whined at what was happening. 

"Ok. Ok. I'm sorry that's probably cold right? We'll be done so quick though I promise" Sam rushed to reassure with an accompanying pat to one bare leg, not wanting De to work himself up and he hurried to complete his task. 

Sam had hoped that he could maybe avoid looking too closely with his brother's privates, but in order to clean him properly he found himself getting far closer acquainted with the area than he would ever have wanted. He found himself having to lift his brother again in order to wipe at De's bottom. It was an awkward position, especially with De still wiggling slightly but he got it done. 

Nearly there. Grabbing the waiting diaper Sam discovered a new problem. How the hell did you get one of these on? Which was round did it go? He found himself unfolding the garment and turning it around and around in his hands as he tried to discover which way was the front and which was the back. Crap! Why was this so hard?!

He was roused from his musings when De began to sit up.

"No! No De! Lie down bud we're nearly done I promise. Just lie down De please!" Sam was aware that he was nearly begging at this point but he didn't need De to cause any more problems at this point. 

However De didn't cause any problems. If anything De's blush got stronger but with a strong suck on his pacifier, De plucked the diaper out of Sam's hands, causing Sam to stutter "Uhhh?" questioningly. De just turned the diaper the right was around before handing it back to a startled Sam and laying back down and grabbing his blanket back up to nuzzle. 

"Oh. Uh. Thanks De. That's really helpful" Sam sputtered out staring at his brother in amazement. Even deep into his headspace his brother was always coming to his rescue. 

Shaking his head he continued with the change - levering his brother back up again and somehow managed to arrange the diaper under his brother. 

Picking up the powder he shook what he hoped would be a small amount out but out burst a huge cloud of powder which caused him and De to immediately begin coughing and spluttering. 

Waving a hand to clear some of the plume Sam became aware of a sound he hadn't heard in a while. De was giggling! When he could see his brother again he found a highly amused baby giggling hysterically at him. 

Staring open mouthed at the laughing baby Sam was dumbstruck for a moment before he too gave into quiet chuckles. "Yeah, yeah. Bet you think that was funny huh?" he laughed, shaking a huge amount of powder out of his hair which made De laugh even harder. 

Honestly he was so relieved. This was so much better than the sobbing distressed baby his brother had been a moment before. Grinning he finished taping his brother into his new diaper commenting "Well at least you smell nice now! No stinky brothers for me!" which caused even more giggles to come from the happy baby. 

Trousers back on, Sam pulled De up and into a hug as they both continued to chuckle. De obviously still highly amused by what had just happened and Sam in utter relief that the task was finished. 

"We did it De. We did it!"


	10. What to make for dinner?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam reminisces as he contemplates what to make his brother for dinner

Still full of good cheer following Sam's baby powder disaster the brothers made their way back down the stairs and into the family room, Sam still dusting powder off of his brother and out of his hair and De dragging his blanket behind him. 

Pulling his brother down into a hug on the sofa Sam let them rest for a moment before asking "So. What do you think we should do now?"

De just hummed noncommittally as he moved to rest his head upon his Sammy's chest. He was pretty tired now after doing so much crying and was quite happy having a cuddle with his big brother. Moving his blanket up to rub against his cheek he suckled on his pacifier and closed his eyes to enjoy the sound of his brother's strong heartbeat. 

Sam rolled his eyes at his brothers "answer" but began to pat at De's back in a comforting rhythm. If De was happy with this then he had no problem. It meant he didn't have to think of anything to do for a while. 

However just as he had committed himself to relaxing for a little while Sam was alerted to a new issue. For over the sounds of contented sucking he could hear loud grumbles coming De's stomach. Come to think of it, he was starting to feel kinda hungry himself. Wonder what time it was?

"Hey De? You hungry buddy?"

De shrugged in response. Mostly he was tired. He was pretty comfy where he was though. He rubbed his blanket against his nose, feeling comforted by the smell of his Daddy that lingered there. 

Realising that he was going to get no real response from his brother Sam continued. "Well I am so I think I better get started on dinner. You want to come with or do you want to play for a bit?"

Scrunching his nose De contemplated his options. He didn't really like either of them. He wanted to stay here now. He was comfy! Actually a bottle would be nice but Sammy didn't offer that. He kept quiet. 

"De? I need you to pick please. Play or help me with dinner?" Sam asked as he sat up dislodging his brother from his comfy resting place. 

"Nmmmmmm" De protested as he fell back against the sofa cushions. That wasn't fair!

"De…" Sam said warningly, clearly expecting an answer. 

Pouting up at his brother, making it clear he wasn't happy he grunted the mumbled "P'ay" and resumed sulkily suckling his pacifier. Maybe if he said he'd play then he could make himself all comfy again and sleep a little bit. 

Sam however didn't know any of this and was please that his brother had come to a decision. Looking around he decided the best place for his brother and so pulled the grumpy baby to his feet saying "Thank you for choosing. Let's get you in your playpen and then you can play while I get our dinner ready."

Leading his surprisingly complacent brother over to the playpen he opened the side and lead his brother inside, helping him to sit down before going out and shutting the gate again. 

Looking down at his brother sat splay legged on the floor of the playpen, clutching his blanket and rubbing at an eye with a fist Sam couldn't help but think his brother was ridiculously cute. He did make an adorable baby. It was nice to get a moment to appreciate Dean like this - to be able to really see him as a baby outside of his own little headspace. 

Unable to resist Sam reached over the gate to run his hand through his brother's soft blond hair. "You feeling sleepy baby?" he asked, already guessing at the answer. 

De hummed an agreement softly, looking up at his big brother through the eye he wasn't rubbing. He was pretty sleepy now. 

"Ok. Well I'll make a quick dinner and then I don't think it'll be too long before it's time for you to go to bed. Not too long now. Why don't you try to find something fun to play and I'll be back really soon ok?"

Sam watched as his brother nodded and reached over to grab a nearby teddy bear and start to fiddle with its ear. Seeing that his brother seemed to be fairly content for the time being, Sam made his way through to the kitchen. 

Stopping once he was just inside, Sam glanced around the kitchen and hoped for inspiration to strike. What was he going to make for dinner? He never cooked! Dean or Gabriel always took care of doing the cooking. Castiel was a disaster in the kitchen and so was never trusted around food but Sam himself just never really had the opportunity to cook. Someone else always took care of it. Even while he was away at college he had had a meal plan so didn't really have to fend for himself in the kitchen and by the time that had run out he and Jess had been living together and she had naturally assumed kitchen duty while he took on other chores. 

So right now he had no skill, no inspiration and he was feeling pretty tired himself after the events of the day so far. He allowed himself to glance back through the doorway to check on his brother who still seemed to be ok before moving further into the kitchen and sighing heavily. What to do?

As he let his eyes scan the room once more his eyes settled on the small scrap of paper resting on the table that he recalled Cas scribbling instructions onto earlier. Before he had left Cas had said to follow the instructions and he would be fine. Maybe Cas had left instructions for what to feed De on there?

Picking up the paper he read the following:

Sam, 

You will be fine. Trust yourself. 

De's basic routine at the moment is as follows: 

3pm : Afternoon bottle of formula.

7pm: Dinner

7.45pm ish : Bath (do not worry about this today Sam).

8.30pm : Bed time and bed time bottle of formula. 

De should sleep all night but it is possible he will wake due to a nightmare or in need of a diaper change. If he does not fall back to sleep easily then he can have another bottle of formula. 

Morning: 

7-8am : De wakes up, breakfast and bottle

11.30am: bottle and naptime

1-1.30pm : De wakes up and lunchtime. 

If you can stick to this schedule then that would be great - do not worry if it goes off slightly. If I am not back after De's nap then keep going but I should be back by dinner time at the latest.

Here are instructions for making up the bottles of formula as I am not sure how many are left in the fridge…..

The rest of the note proceeded to explain the method for making up De's bottles followed by further reassurance from Cas and a hastily scrawled signature. 

So. No real help for what to feed his brother for dinner them. 

Sam sighed when he realised that he had totally missed giving De his afternoon bottle, but there wasn't much he could do about that now. He guessed that they had been too busy playing at that point to notice. Glancing at the clock he wanted to see whereabouts he was in regards to De's schedule and found that it was ten past eight. 

Ten past eight. 

Crap!

He was way off base! No wonder De was starting to get sleepy - it was nearly his bed time! They had completely missed dinnertime so that explained why De's stomach had been grumbling - he was probably starving by now! No snack bottle and no dinner it was a miracle he wasn't crying. 

Shit. Now he was really under pressure to make dinner!

Quickly flinging open cupboards he scanned them for something he could feed himself and his brother. Could he make…..no. What about……no! Ah! There was nothing he felt capable of making!

He searched and rummaged until he found something that made him stop short. For there in front of him stood a can of spaghetti-o's. 

Memories rapidly flashed through Sam's mind of all the times growing up that he had been presented with a bowl or a plate of spaghetti-o's that had been prepared for him by his older brother. Countless motel rooms and countless meals of spaghetti-os and images of himself and his brother at many different ages - starting from as far back as he could remember. 

One of the earliest times he could remember was of him being about three or four and Dean coming over to him with a plate of spaghetti-o's on toast which his brother had arranged to form a sloppy yet recognisable smiley face. He remembered being absolutely delighted and amazed that his brother had made something so fantastic. 

A bittersweet smile on his face Sam pulled the can out of the cupboard. Glancing around he spotted a bag of sliced bread on the counter. Decision made. Spaghetti-o's on toast for dinner it was. Even he could handle that surely. If Dean could make it at age five or something then surely he would be able to as well. 

Ten minutes later he was reassessing that decision. 

Although the spaghetti-o's had cooked alright, he had definitely burnt the toast. Luckily not to the point that it had created loads of smoke, but there was a definite black tinge to the bread. 

He thanked anyone who could be listening for the fact that he hadn’t set off the smoke detector as he had no idea how his brother would have reacted to that. 

Feeling nostalgic, Sam had tried to arrange the spaghetti hoops into a smiley face like he remembered his brother doing, but it had turned out to be more difficult as it looked as the sauce had slopped everywhere. Maybe he could convince his brother that the drops were freckles or something?

Sighing again Sam decided that it would just have to be enough and he re-entered the family room to collect his brother. 

What he found was not what he had expected. 

He expected to find his brother happily playing in the middle of the playpen. 

What he found was his brother laying flat out on the floor on his stomach cuddled up to his blanket and fast asleep. 

Great. Now he'd have to wake De up to eat and he knew from experience that De did not like to be woken up unexpectedly from a nap. 

Damnit!


	11. Dinner time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and De have troubles during dinner time

Walking up to the playpen Sam eyed his brother nervously. You never knew what reaction you were going to get when deliberately waking De up when he was sleeping. You could get anything from a smiley happy baby to a furious crying baby in a temper tantrum. 

Knowing that he had inadvertently created this situation by not sticking to De's schedule he still prayed that he would not have to deal with a screaming baby. 

Unlatching the side to the playpen, Sam entered and crouched down next to his sleeping brother and gently called "De? Deeee? Come on sleepy head. Time to wake up baby. It's dinner time! Don't you want something to eat?"

Blinking with confused bleary eyes De looked up at his brother and mumbled "Shmammy?"

"Yeah. It's Sammy buddy. Wake up De, it's time for dinner!" Sam tried to keep his voice light and cheerful but inside he was still tense and waiting for a reaction. 

Luckily for him, no immediate reaction seemed to be forthcoming. Instead his brother pushed himself up off of the floor and into a sitting position and began to scrub at his eyes as he slowly sucked on his pacifier. Why was he awake? Wasn't it sleepy time? De was so confused and tears began to gather in his eyes as a reaction. "Sammy?" he asked again through a yawn.

"I know. I know you're tired De, but its dinner time right now. Let's go get something to eat huh?" Sam appealed, hoping that his brother was feeling co-operative. 

De scrubbed at his eyes to get rid of the water and whimpered slightly due to his tiredness but obediently raised his arms so that his Sammy could take him to dinner. 

Standing and regarding his brother Sam was taken aback by his brother's latest actions. Ah crap. De was expecting him to lift him up and carry him through to the kitchen. Not a bad assumption on the baby's part as Cas and Gabe carried De everywhere usually. It was no problem for the angels to lift up and carry a fully grown six foot human male, but Sam wasn't sure that he was going to be able to. 

Sure when they had been severely injured on hunts both he and Dean had been able to lift and carry each other out of the way of harm and to safety - but these were infrequent actions that were often aided by a massive surge of adrenaline. And even then it was hard work. To do so now when no such need existed seemed like a huge ask. 

Looking down to see his sleepy brother looking up at him with such wide and watery eyes waiting for him he knew that he was going to have to say no to the request and it made him feel terrible. It was hard to say no when his brother was looking at him so trustingly, but in order to care for his brother properly he wasn't going to risk hurting them both in order to try and carry De around. 

"Oh baby I'm so sorry. I can't carry you De. I'm not strong enough buddy" he said regretfully, reaching down a hand to smooth over his brother's sleep rumpled hair. Free of the gel Dean usually used to style it, De's hair was fluffy, soft and prone to getting messed up when De slept oddly. 

Whimpering, De gave into his tears as he lowered his arms, more due to tiredness than anything. He didn't really understand why his Sammy wasn't picking him up but he did know that Sammy sounded kind of sad. He didn't know why that was either and it made it worse. All he wanted was for someone to pick him up. Why couldn't he just be picked up?

"Aw don't cry De. Please baby. I'm sorry I can't carry you. I wish I could De, I really wish I could.  
I'm so sorry" Sam soothed as he dropped down to wrap his brother in a hug once more. 

De clung onto his brother as he cried out his tiredness, confusion and frustration while his brother patted and hugged him while continuing to mutter reassurances. It only took a few moments for De to relax into his brother and for his tears to slow down. 

"There baby. That's better. I'm sorry I can't carry you De, but how about we go into the kitchen together and I'll show you what I made for dinner. I think you'll like it!" Sam cajoled, pulling away from his brother in order to look at him. 

De gave him a watery smile but nodded and allowed Sam to help pull him up and onto his feet and guide him to the kitchen. He was still so tired that he didn't even protest when Sam boosted him upwards slightly into the much hated high chair and began to buckle him in before snapping the tray table in front of his tummy. De watched his Sammy's actions with a sleepy sort of detachment and couldn't help but echo the small smile his big brother gave to him, though it was probably hidden behind his pacifier. 

As Sam boosted his brother up into the seat and began to fiddle with the surprisingly complex set of straps to keep him in the seat, his mind wandered again to the past. He still felt bad about not being able to carry his brother like he had wanted to. He thought back to when Dean had been the one looking after him. His brother a small child having to deal with him when he was a baby or toddler and having to make dinner for them both. Had Dean struggled to carry him about? Had he been difficult to get into a highchair? At least in some ways Dean was still able to help him out and understand most of what was being asked of him even though it was severely muddled by baby thoughts and emotions. What would it be like if there was none of that help or understanding? How had his brother done it? Having taken care of De for the short amount of time that he had had given Sam a much deeper appreciation of his brother and all he had done for him. 

Coming back out of his musings as he finished getting his brother set up in the highchair and grateful beyond belief that De didn't appear to be inclined to throw a fit about being in it, he gave the sleepy baby another smile. 

"How 'bout we take that out now De?" Sammy said tugging gently on the ring on the front of the soother. De offered a little resistance 'coz he was sucking on that! - but gave in as he heard his brother's next words. "Can't eat with a binky in your mouth!" That was true. Sammy was pretty smart. It didn't stop him from carefully watching what Sammy did with his paci - noting where it was placed on the kitchen table. 

Sam chuckled as he realised what his baby brother was doing. Turning back he asked "Shall we put blue blanket next to your paci? Then we know it won't get dirty while we eat."

De blinked slowly and then looked down to notice that he was in fact still holding on to his special blanket. He hadn't even been aware that he still had it. Though he felt a wrench at having to give it up he did pass his treasure over to Sammy - again watching how his special object was handled. De knew from past experience that it was better to lose his blue for a little bit during dinner so that it stayed clean or he would end up losing it for a lot longer later while the blanket was in the wash. 

De startled out of his thoughts the next moment as Sammy slid a plate onto the tray in front of him. Looking down he laughed as he saw a sloppy smiley face made out of spaghetti-o's on toast. Pointing at it he smiled up at his big brother who was hovering nearby.

"Yeah" Sammy grinned down at him, "It's spaghetti-o's! Do you remember making this for me De?"

Memories of making this same meal for Sammy when he was the little brother washed over De and he giggled and nodded saying "Sketti!"

"Yeah! Sketti! Thought you might like it De" Sammy commented and then sat down in Castiel's usual chair that was right next to De's highchair at the table. "I just hope it tastes alright…I might have burnt the toast a little bit" he added sheepishly. 

"Sammy silly" De giggled and kicked his legs a little bit as he saw the black parts of his toast through the sauce of his spaghetti.

"Dig in then De, before it gets too cold buddy" Sam said and then started to eat his own plate of food. 

De hummed an agreement before turning his attention to the food before him. On a plastic plate on his tray lay the square piece of toast covered in the pasta hoops. Next to his plate rested the plastic knife and fork that Daddy used to give him his dinner. De looked at all of this but for the life of him couldn't figure out what he was supposed to do. 

Sam, who was tucking into his own food noticed the lack of action from his brother. "'ey w's up buddy?" he mumbled through a mouthful of food, "Why're you not eating?"

De looked up at his brother before continuing to try and figure out how to eat his dinner like Sammy wanted. It just seemed too big and he didn't really know what to do. 

Watching his brother carefully Sam quickly realised the problem and could have kicked himself. The angel's usually cut their meals up when they were little. Gabriel did it most of the time for him, but sometimes let him cut things himself. But Cas - Cas always always cut up De's food. He had never seen De cutting up his food. And why would he? He was a baby! Babies couldn't cut their own food up. No wonder De was looking confused. 

"Crap. Sorry De. Let me get that for you" Sam apologised as he quickly cut his brother's food into small pieces before sitting down again.

Ah. Now dinner looked more normal! He knew what to do now! Totally ignoring the fork that rested on the side of his plate De used his hand to grab hold of a spaghetti and sauce covered piece of toast before smushing it into his mouth with a happy contented hum. It was good!  
All of this happened before Sam had any chance to react. He could only stare open mouthed as he watched De get sauce all over his hand and smear it all around his mouth as he had his first bite of dinner. Several of the spaghetti-o's fell off the toast before it got into De's mouth and fell onto his brother's once clean green t-shirt. 

As De used his other hand to eat his next bit of food two thoughts ran calmly through Sam's fairly detatched mind.

The first was - Oh yeah. I guess that's why Cas feeds De most of the time. 

And the second was - I really should've remembered to put a bib on De. 

Then his mind seemed to come back to reality and he jumped up crying out "De no! No! Don't do that!"

De jumped and dropped his latest piece of toast back onto the high chair tray. What?! What was wrong? He looked around to try and see what was wrong but had to look back at Sammy to find out as he couldn't see anything wrong. Though Sammy did look kind of weird again. All stressed and kind of grossed out. De didn't know why though so just waited to be told. 

At least his cry had stopped De from doing any more damage Sam thought as he rushed to wet a cloth that had been drying on the side before returning and grabbing hold of the shocked and confused brother's hands and beginning to wash them off, though he ignored the protest of "Ah! Ah!" that his brother produced. 

"Dude! We don't eat with our hands! That's gross!" Sam tried to explain as he wiped at struggling fingers. 

"Ah! No! De eatin'!" De protested again. He didn't like what his brother was doing at all and he had no idea what his Sammy was talking about. De ate with his fingers all the time! Daddy let him! Well ok Daddy fed him most of the time but sometimes De was allowed to feed himself!  
And besides he was just doing what Sammy had told him to do so he had no idea why his brother was upset. Sammy told him to eat so he ate! Where was the problem? Sammy wasn't going to feed him so he fed himself!

De was too tired to figure out what he had done wrong and he was starting to get grumpy now. He just wanted to eat his dinner! "Off! Sammy! 'top!" he whined as he squirmed and tried to pull his hands away. 

"No De. Your hands are all yucky, now hold still I'm nearly done, I'm nearly done" Sam placated as he desperately tried to get the remains of spaghetti sauce and drool from his protesting brother's fingers. De was nearing crying territory and Sam knew that he was over tired as it was now past his bedtime. He just hoped that he could avoid a major meltdown before they were finished with dinner. 

"All right De. All done buddy, all done" Sam cooed as he released his brother's hands and dropped the cloth on the table. He wasn't even going to attempt to wash De's face just yet given that he had yet to finish eating. Just glancing at the baby told him not to push it either as De was pouting at him as if he had just done something awful and definitely had the beginnings of tears in his eyes. 

"Come on. Don't give me that look dude, I was just washing your hands!" Sam said as he tried to reach out and ruffle his brother's hair but couldn't help but chuckle as his brother turned away and screwed his eyes up with a very definite "Hmph!" of grumpiness. 

"Oh come on man! It's not that bad!" Sam chuckled as he picked up the plastic fork and speared some of the waiting food and then held it out. "Come on De, let's finish your dinner up."

De peeked and eye at Sammy and saw him holding out the food. Oh? So Sammy was feeding him now? De wished that his brother would make his mind up already! De turned back around and sighed strongly. He was to tired for this. 

"You grumpy with me now huh?" Sam asked as he raised an eyebrow at De's sigh of annoyance. He had to push down a chuckle as it was too amusing to have a baby be exasperated at him. He couldn't help but laugh as De simultaneously nodded and scrubbed at one tired eye while the other continued to glare at him. 

"I know. Bad Sammy getting you all clean while you're so sleepy" Sam pretended to sympathise but re-held out the fork emphasising its presence. "How about I make it up to you by feeding you the rest of your dinner? I think I can hear your tummy rumbling you know."

De visibly contemplated this for a few moments before simply leaning forward and opening his mouth. He was pretty hungry after all, and if he wasn't allowed to feed himself then he supposed that this was his best option. 

"That’s it. Good boy De, thank you" Sam praised as he fed De his first bite of dinner. 

Luckily De continued to be co-operative and allowed Sam to feed him the rest of the dinner. It was quite pleasant and Sam continued to praise his brother after every bite. That was something else he remembered Dean doing for him when he was little and so the words flowed easily off his tongue. 

Towards the end of the meal however Sam had to coax the food into his brother as De was really struggling against sleep by now. A few times the boy's head had even dropped as he nodded off, but sprung back as he snapped awake again. Sam felt guilty that he had accidently caused De to go off his schedule but he kept coaxing De into eating. "Come on baby, just a few more bites. You can do it De. Well done baby. Well done."

Eventually De had eaten all of the food and Sam removed the plate from the tray table.  
"Well done buddy. Dinner's all gone!" Sam praised and ran his hand over his brother's head one more time, pleased when his brother seemed to lean into the touch. "You sleepy baby?"

De was about to nod when his whole body was wracked by a gigantic yawn. 

"I'll take that as a yes" Sam stated soothingly before adding, "I guess that means it must be bedtime."


	12. Getting ready for bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sammy has to get his very sleepy baby brother ready for bed - not as easy as it looks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all the people following this story and leaving reviews! You have no idea just how much they brighten my day! Things have been difficult in RL right now so writing this story and knowing people are enjoying it gives me loads of comfort. I like this chapter. But trust me....the next one I love.

Having briefly battled De over washing his face, causing a new bout of severe pouting and a few tears from a very tired baby, Sam managed to coax his brother back up the stairs and into the nursery. 

Sam was ashamed to say that it was mostly done by making De follow him in order to get his blanket back as by that point De was being fairly uncooperative due to being put out at the former face scrubbing that had taken place. Still. De was now sat on the floor of the nursery suckling his pacifier and nuzzling his blanket once again so Sam didn't suppose that he had traumatised his brother too much. 

Now just to get his brother into bed and off to sleep. The latter part of that plan didn't seem like it would be too hard given that it was now at least an hour after his brother's usual bedtime and the fact that De had been yawning more and more frequently since they had finished their dinner. 

Moving over to the chest of draws at the side of the room Sam pulled out a soft pair of footie pyjamas and brought them over to where De was currently sitting. 

Kneeling next to the clearly sleepy baby he took in the sight of his brother for a moment. Despite the wash he had given De earlier, his t-shirt was covered in the remnants of spaghetti sauce and Sam couldn't help but grimace. How the hell that had happened he would never know but it looked gross. 

Calling out gently, Sam gained De's attention. "Hey sleepyhead. Let's get you out of those yucky clothes and then you can have some sleep alright?

De blinked up at him dazedly through half lidded eyes while sucking slowly on his paci. It was clear he was going to be no help. He was just far too gone. 

"Come on dude. Help me out a bit here. Put down blue blanket and put your arms up. We need to get that shirt off of you" Sam said as he put down the sleeper he was holding as reached for the hem of his brother's tshirt. 

All he got in return was an aborted whine and hitched breath that signalled the imminent threat of tears. Sam sighed as he knew this was going to be awkward but ploughed on. It would just be better to get De in to bed as soon as possible. So, tugging at his brother's shirt he began pulling it over De's head, trying hard not to smear sauce all over the baby's face again as he did so. Man but there was a lot on the shirt! 

Shirt removal was a success. If you discounted the sheer cry of panic that occurred when the blanket - that De had not put down - was wrenched from the baby's grip as the t-shirt was swiftly pulled from the boy's body. "Ah! Ah! Blooo!" De cried instantly bursting into frustrated tired tears. 

Desperate to avoid the impending meltdown Sam flung the t-shirt vaguely towards the laundry basket and quickly snatched up the dropped blanket to shove back into his brother's grasping hands. "There! There! Look De, you have your blue back. Stop crying! Please stop crying! " Sam pleaded, really hoping that this wasn't the start of a total meltdown. 

Sadly it was not meant to be as De had just had too much by this point. Though De snatched his blanket back into his hands, he also threw his head back and began to wail, loud sobs echoing around the room. 

De had just had enough. He was so tired! Sammy kept doing things and De didn’t know what was happening. Then Sammy had made De drop blue blanket and that wasn't fair! De needed that! Why wasn't Sammy just letting him sleep?! And why wasn't Daddy back yet? It had been forever and Daddy wasn't even here yet! It just wasn't fair! And what was Sammy doing now?!

While De had been lost in his head and sobbing loudly Sam had watched with growing horror, completely overwhelmed and unsure what to do. Any help that he had been getting from his brother was now gone given that De was lost in his headspace and upset. De had been pushed too far today and so was now giving in to his emotions. 

Although he tried to soothe his brother like he had earlier in the day, but he doubted his words were getting through seeing as there was no change in either his brother's actions or the volume of the sobs he was producing. 

Given this fact, Sam decided to just carry on with his task at this point and to try and get De into his pyjamas. He just needed to get his brother to sleep now seeing as the baby was completely overtired. 

De gave him a confused look as he pushed the baby to lie back on the carpet but he did not stop the wailing. "It's ok De. It's ok. Just lie back, we're gonna get you into your jammies alright? Then you can go to sleep. I know. You're so tired. Its past your bed time and I'm so sorry, but we'll get you straight into bed once you're changed alright?" Sam tried to placate as he once again pulled De's trousers off of him. Even though De was wiggling and squirming on the carpet Sam had no problem pulling off the un-poppered trousers as it called on his experience playing medic after hunting incidents. 

After managing to somehow wrestle De into the leg part of the sleeper suit Sam suddenly realised that he should probably check if his brother needed another diaper change. Crap. Although he realised that he'd probably have to do a few more changes before Castiel returned it was not something he was looking forward to. 

Grimacing and flushing a bright red Sam hesitantly held out his hand and for a moment hovered it over his brother's crotch. God. The things he did for his family. Totally unsure what he was actually feeling for, Sam let his hand cup his brother's crotch and gave the diaper a small squeeze. It was what he had seen Cas do after all. 

De however practically jumped out of his skin and began kicking his legs out in an effort to get away from the sudden unexpected touch. 

"Sorry! Sorry De but I need to see if you need a change before bedtime. Just hold still De. Please!" Sam begged desperately, trying to hold his brother still while also attempting to feel for something. 

"No! No!" De kicked out his legs and tried to get Sammy to go away. He didn't know what was happening and he was just. so. tired!

"Ah De! Hold still! Please De, come on!" Sam pleaded as he sat back and gave his brother space so as not to get accidently kicked. De was having a full on tantrum now. 

"Alright. Alright De. I'm sorry baby, but you let it all out. I know its hard, but I'm right here for you De" Sam attempted to comfort from his knelt position next to his brother. He rested a hand on De's arm just to let him know he was still there. 

From the brief contact he had had with De's diaper however he had to guess that his brother was dry. The diaper was still kind of firm and crunchy - it didn't feel puffy and squishy like it had when he was changing the baby earlier. Given that he had no idea what a diaper should feel like hoped that he was correct and that his brother would be ok in the diaper he was wearing for a while longer. 

After a few minutes De had stopped his flailing and was now sobbing quietly on the floor again. Although he was obviously seriously distressed, De wasn't wailing at the top of his lungs anymore. It seemed the fight had gone out of him. 

De wasn't sure why he had gotten so angry but now he was more tired than ever. He didn't know what he wanted, except Daddy and Daddy wasn't there! Sammy! Sammy was there though and now De desperately needed his Sammy. Right now!

De sat up and threw himself at his Sammy and wrapped his arms around his brother, crying into his shoulder. De just needed his Sammy!

"Ooph!" Sam was winded slightly as his brother collided with his chest, but he made sure to hold his brother close, automatically beginning to pat at the crying baby's back. "Hey. Hey. It's ok De. I'm here baby. You're ok buddy" he whispered, hoping that his brother would take in his words. 

Sam didn't know how long they sat together but eventually Sam felt De relax in his arms as his tears slowed and cries faded into hitched hiccupping breaths. 

"There you go baby. It's all ok. It's all ok De" he repeated once more. 

De made himself more comfortable in his brother's arms and accepted the comfort and warmth the taller man was offering. Now that he had finished crying he could think more clearly and although his thoughts were still fuzzy due to sleepiness some part of him was saying that he was making Sammy sad. 

Through shuddering breaths he stammered "I so-o-orry Sammy!"

Taking a deep breath to steady himself against the swell of emotion rising in his chest Sam raised a hand to cup the back of his brothers head and began to stroke the soft hair there as he replied "You have nothing to be sorry for baby. I know you're just tired and sleepy. I know it's been a hard day for you as well. How about we just get you into bed? I think that'll make things all better buddy, I really do." Sam hoped so at least.

"Uh-huh Sammy" De shuddered again but made no motion to move away from his brother's arms.

Pushing De away slightly Sammy cajoled "Come on baby. Let's finish this off" and began to pull up the sleeper that was half on his brother and to thread his arms into the sleeves.  
As soon as the last button was done up and De was all dressed Sam stood and pulled his brother to stand with him. "There you go. All done! I bet that feels better huh?" he asked as he stood back slightly to regard his regressed sibling. 

It did make for a cute site. De stood before him in an all in one sleeper suit that had feet attached. It was white with small baby blue puppies all over it. The baby stood looking absolutely exhausted before him and absentmindedly rubbed his blanket against his cheek. It was adorable. 

Smiling gently Sam reached down to retrieve the dropped pacifier and pushed it into his brother's unresisting mouth before gripping the baby's free hand and pulling him gently towards the crib. 

Once there Sam helped his brother to sit on the matress and to swing his legs up so that he was completely on the bed. Smoothing a hand over his sleepy brother's soft warm hair Sam smiled gently and mentally thought "Thank goodness. One day down" even as he said "There you go baby. Sleepy time!"

De allowed himself to be manouvered into the crib and listened as his brother talked to him. He watched as Sammy wound up the mobile that hung above his crib and saw as he moved to start pulling the rails up securely. 

Huh? Was that it? But…surely Sammy wouldn't have forgotten? De sucked on his pacifier and waited. There was no way his brother wouldn't know. 

Having got De onto the bed Sam went about doing the little things that would make his brother comfortable - fussing with the crib rails and mobile before reaching in an pulling up the covers on his brother. 

"Lie down De. It's sleepy time! I know you're sleepy baby so lie down and you'll be off in no time" he urged deliberately making his voice quiet and he hoped soothing. 

De however was looking at him expectantly though he didn't know why. He was sure that it wouldn't be long before the baby was asleep though. 

Giving one last stroke to De's head Sam then pulled away and whispered "Night De. Sleep well and I'll see you in the morning" before turning to leave the nursery. 

A very fragile sounding whimper stopped him in his tracks and he turned to find his brother kneeling up and grasping the railings of the crib. 

"De?" he asked.

De whimpered again, worried that Sammy was leaving. 

"What's up baby? You need to go to sleep now De" Sam stated as he went back to the side of the crib. 

It didn't seem like Sammy was going to remember. De didn't want to bother his Sammy as Sammy had been doing lots and lots to take care of him. But….but he needed his bottle!  
He hadn't had a bottle all day and he really really needed one. They made him feel all better. Nice and warm and safe. And De really wanted one right now. Daddy always gave him a bottle before night night time. De thought Sammy would give him one, but it didn’t seem like Sammy remembered. Maybe De needed to tell Sammy? Didn't grown up's know about night night bottles though?

"B-baba Sammy? he asked hesitently, voice hitching again as more tears started forming.

"Baba? Huh?" Sam asked confused. What? What did De want?

"Pees? Pees baba Sammy?" De pleaded as tears trickled down his cheeks. Was Sammy not going to give him his bottle? He even used his nice manners like Daddy said to!  
It was obvious that his brother desperately wanted something but for the life of him Sammy couldn't think of what it could be. "Baba" he mused, trying to think of what it could be De wanted, "Baba?"

Like lighting it hit him. Baba meant bottle! He'd heard De using the term before but not really paid attention. Man how could he be so stupid!

"Oh! A bottle! You want a bottle!" Sam exclaimed as the realisation hit him. Of course De would want a bottle! He always had one at bedtime. How many times had Sam watched his baby brother having a cuddle and being fed a bottle before he was put down for a nap or to sleep for the night? How could he forget? And how bad did he feel that he was having to basically rely on the baby he was watching to tell him what to do. He could kick himself. 

"Man!! Of course! Of course! I'll go make you a bottle right away!" Sammy rushed to sooth as he brushed tears off of his brother's cheeks. 

De seemed to sag with relief as he heard his brother's words. He was getting a bottle. That made him feel better. He was really craving it now. 

"Ok De. I'll go make your bottle and be right back baby ok? Lie down baby and get comfy and I'll be right back" Sam rushed out almost nervously, flustered at his mistake. 

De did as he was asked, happily compliant now that he knew he was going to get his baba. He snuggled down into his soft warm blankets and rubbed his blue against his nose to smell his Daddy. He felt all safe and gazed up at his brother lovingly. Sammy really was great. He was taking such good care of him and getting him a bottle and everything!  
Sam watched as his brother snuggled down and couldn't comprehend the look of naked adoration that the baby was giving him. He felt totally undeserving right now. He just felt like he wasn't doing anything right at the moment. It had been a long day and he was totally out of his depth. 

Not wanting his brother to pick up on his thoughts he made sure to plaster a smile on his face as he said "I'll be right back baby" and began to head out of the nursery to the kitchen.


	13. Story time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> De helps out his brother for bed time and Sammy tells a special story that had a lot of meaning for them both

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not ashamed to say that I love this chapter. I've been excited to post it for a while 'coz I think a lot of you are going to like it!  
> Obviously though - Love you forever is by Robert Munch and I do not have any claim to that work. I may have twisted it to suit my needs though lol. Enjoy! And let me know what you think!

Having quickly heated up a bottle Sam rushed back up to the nursery. 

Luckily he had remembered to switch on the baby monitor when he went downstairs. It let him know that his brother was ok even while serving to make him feel worse. Sam was feeling awful that all he seemed to be doing was making his brother cry. He wasn't handling things like the angels would and he was feeling really over whelmed. He didn't know what he was doing. 

He hadn't given his brother a bottle all day! If he had been a real baby that would have been a disaster! He didn't know why De seemed to be happy with him. 

He knew that De was though because - all the tears and crying aside - De still sought him out for hugs and comfort and smiled at him like he was amazing. He didn't know what he had done to inspire such faith from his brother but it was nice anyway. 

While he had been in the kitchen Sammy had listened as his brother absentmindedly babbled to himself through huge yawns. From what Sam could make out it was mostly mumbled variations of the words "baba", "blue", "Daddy" and "Sammy". It was pretty cute but it just served to make Sam feel worse. How could his brother be this content when his needs hadn't been being met properly. 

These thoughts were still flowing through his mind as he re-entered the nursery. He tried to push them away though as he approached the crib and gave his brother a soft smile. 

"Hey there baby. Look what I have for you!" he said cheerfully, making sure to show his brother the warm bottle of milk in his hands. 

He had to laugh as De's eyes lit up and the baby sat up, spat out his pacifier and made grabby hands at his desired item. 

"Here you go baby" Sam said with a small laugh as he handed the bottle to his brother. 

Instead of shoving the bottle into his mouth and beginning to suckle frantically like he expected, Sam watched as the baby sat and looked between the bottle and himself with a puzzled expression on his face. 

"What's up buddy?" he asked, unsure of what the matter was now. Had he forgotten something else? De was safe in his crib with a dry diaper, comfy pyjamas and a warm bottle. What else could he have forgotten?

While his brother had been in the kitchen, De had been spending his time in his crib thinking very deep thoughts. Before Sammy had left he had looked really sad. De didn't know why 'coz he couldn't think of anything to be sad about. Well. Except for Daddy being gone, but he didn't think Sammy would be sad in quite the same way as he was.  
Sammy had started to look sad when De asked for a bottle. De didn't think it was a bad thing to ask for a bottle so he didn't think it was that that had made Sammy sad. No. Thinking really really hard he figured it might have been because Sammy didn't know that De wanted a bottle. Daddy sometimes looked sad like that if he thought that he wasn't doing things right. 

It was really silly though 'coz Sammy was awesome! He made sure that De had a paci and blue and had made nice sketti for dinner! He was really good at playing and he was pretty good at looking after De too! Sammy hadn't looked after De before. Maybe Sammy just didn't know what to do. Talking all this through to himself, De eventually decided that he would just have to show Sammy what Daddy did all the time. Then Sammy would know what to do and wouldn't be sad no more! 

Having come to this conclusion, De decided that his plan needed to come into action when Sammy just handed him the bottle. Didn't he know that night night baba time was time for cuddles and stories?

Putting down his bottle and getting to his knees again, De made motions that he wanted Sammy to take down the side of the crib and demanded "Down! Out Sammy!"

"Huh? De?" Sammy stammered even as he did lower the railing. 

Pleased that Sammy had done what he wanted De climbed out of the crib and toddled over to the bookshelf and picked one of his favourite books out totally ignoring Sammy's protests of "It's bedtime De! Where are you going? I thought you wanted your bottle?"

Silly Sammy. Of course De wanted his bottle. But these things needed to be done right! Book collected, De made his way back to the crib and climbed back in. Having sat down again, De set about pulling Sammy in with him.

"De?! De what on earth are you doing?! Why am I getting in the crib?" Sammy squeaked, surprised. De thought it was a funny noise. He was too tired to giggle though. Doing all of this showing for Sammy was hard work, but it would be worth it even if De had to get all sleepy. 

Once Sammy was sat in the crib, De snatched up his bottle and stuck it into his mouth before lying down resting his head on Sammy's chest. 

Although Sammy was surprised, De felt his brother's arms come up to circle him and hold him securely. See? Sammy knew what he was doing! Good big brother!  
Groping around until he found his book again, De shoved it at his brother and demanded "'ook!" before settling back against his brother and finally beginning to suckle at his yummy warm milk. 

Over the course of the last few minutes Sam had been completely manhandled by a baby and he was helpless to do anything but go along with the boy's manipulations.  
Still not completely sure how it had happened, Sam now found himself propped up against the backboard of the crib with his nursing brother curled up on his chest and a book in his hand. Uhhh…apparently it was story and cuddle time?

Surpressing a snort he couldn't help but be amused by the fact that De obvioulsy had taken charge, guiding Sammy in order to get what he wanted. Being bossed about by a baby was funny - but helpful as now Sam knew what his brother wanted. 

"Oh?" he commented, amusement colouring his tone, "You want me to read this book huh?"

All he got in response was a contented hum around snuffly breaths and sucking noises. 

"Fair enough" Sam said quietly and turned the book in his hands to see what he had been given. 

Love you forever - by Robert Munch. Sam remembered this book. He remembered being read this practically every night by his brother when they were growing up until he had declared himself old enough to read to himself at night time. He had loved the quiet time with his brother and the feeling of closeness they had shared. Sat as he was now cradling his brother he hadn't realised just how much he had missed it. He and Dean spent so much time avoiding "chick flick moments" that they missed opportunities for closeness as well. 

When they had been growing up, De had often changed the words of the stories he had read to make them all about their own situation. This book had suffered the same fate, and that was why it was so special to Sam. He was choked with emotion that his brother had chosen this book and wondered if the baby had picked it deliberately or not. 

Leaving that thought for now, Sam scanned through the book and decided he knew exactly what to do to make it better. 

Smiling down and finding his suckling brother patiently looking up at him Sam asked "Are you ready?" before beginning the story. 

Adjusting De into a more comfy position, Sam began as it always had when Dean had told it to him. 

"A little boy held his new baby brother and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while he held him, he sang:"

"I'll love you forever,  
I'll like you for always,  
As long as I'm living  
my brother you'll be."

"The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his Dad's knife and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his brother would say, "this kid is driving me CRAZY!"

"But at night time, when that two-year-old was quiet, the brother crawled across the motel room floor, looked up over the side of his bed; and if he was really asleep he picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While he rocked him he sang:"

"I'll love you forever,  
I'll like you for always,  
As long as I'm living  
my brother you'll be."

"The little boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was nine years old. And he never wanted to come in for dinner, he never wanted to take a bath, and when his Dad was home he always said bad words. Sometimes his brother wanted to sell him to the zoo!"

"But at night time, when he was asleep, the brother quietly crawled across the motel floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep, he picked up that nine-year-old boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while he rocked him he sang:"

"I'll love you forever,  
I'll like you for always,  
As long as I'm living  
my brother you'll be."

"The boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a teenager. He had normal friends and he wore normal clothes and he listened to pop music his brother hated. Sometimes the brother felt like he was in a zoo!!"

"But at night time, when that teenager was asleep, the brother, crawled across the motel room floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep he picked up that great big boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While he rocked him he sang:"

"I'll love you forever,  
I'll like you for always,  
As long as I'm living  
my brother you'll be."

Pausing for a moment, Sam glanced down at his brother to find that De was now fighting to stay awake. His eyes were half lidded and the eager suckling on the bottle that the baby had been doing previously had slowed to gentle sucks. Sam moved so that De was better supported and cradled against him. By this point Sam had pretty much abandoned the original story Sam gently dropped the book to the floor and used his now free hand to support his brother's bottle seeing as De's holding of it was wavering the more tired he became. More settled, Sam continued with the story but it was here that Sam started to change the story from how his brother had told it. 

"That teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and went to college. But sometimes on dark nights the brother got into his big black car and drove across the country. If all the lights in his the grown up man's house were out, he opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep he picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while he rocked him he sang:"

"I'll love you forever,  
I'll like you for always,  
As long as I'm living  
my brother you'll be."

While telling that part of the story Sam's mind had wandered. Although Dean had obviously not broken into his room and watched him sleep, Sam knew that Dean had been checking up on him occasionally between hunts. Well he hadn't known it at the time, but had found out once he had rejoined his brother on the road. There was a time that the knowledge would have made him angry - irritated that Dean couldn't leave him to get on with his own life - that Dean couldn't trust him to look after himself. Now though. Now the knowledge made him feel safe. It was proof of his brother's love and dedication. Sam couldn't help but look down and watch his sleepy sibling fondly as he restarted his story.

"Well, that brother - the brother that had raised the now grown man - that brother listened to an angel and got little. He got littler and littler and the angel became the brother's Daddy. The Daddy looked after the brother really well and loved him like he was his own baby. Every night as he put the little boy to bed the angel would sing:"

"I'll love you forever,  
I'll like you for always,  
As long as I'm living  
my baby you'll be."

Sam paused the story once more as his brother interrupted with a very quiet and little query of "Da-ddy?"

"Yeah baby. Your Daddy. You're your Daddy's baby huh?" he responded, voice quiet and calming. 

De hummed in response and said "Da-ddy" again before yawning and accepting the bottle back into his mouth when it was offered. By this point De was only suckling every so often - more for comfort than anything as he was so close to sleep. 

De settled back again Sam picked up his story again. He was practically whispering as he said: 

"One day the angel called up his baby boy's brother and asked the now grown man to look after his son. The brother came and tried really hard to look after the man who had raised him but who was now a baby. They had some trouble and both brothers ended up crying but at the end of the day, when the now big brother had got the baby brother ready for bed he picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And he sang this song:"

"I'll love you forever,  
I'll like you for always,  
As long as I'm living  
my brother you'll be."

As he finished the last refrain, Sam looked down at where his brother's head was resting in his arms. The baby was completely asleep.


	14. In the middle of the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has to get up when De wakes up in the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not sure anything is going to be as good as the last chapter as I personally feel that it was the highlight of this story (yes Im biased), but here it is anyway, hopefully with some cute moments

After his brother had drifted off in his arms, Sam had worked to be able to manoeuvre the sleeping man into a more comfortable position supported by pillows instead of his arms.

Sam had stiffened and held his breath several times as De had seemed to rouse and whimper slightly as he was moved, though he was settled again quickly once a pacifier was wiggled between his lips. That done, he was able to completely move the baby without him waking up more fully.

Moving off of the crib mattress, careful not to jostle the baby, Sam stood himself by the side of the crib and just watched his sleeping sibling for a moment.

De was completely out. He was laying on his side, curled over due to having been hugging with Sam and causing his diapered bottom to stick out slightly. De had one hand curled up under his chin where he clutched his blue blanket close. The mouth guard of the pacifier bobbed as De suckled unconsciously every so often.

It was completely adorable and Sam felt his heart clench as how very little his brother looked at that moment in time.

He felt so protective of his sibling, even as his thoughts drifted once again. Now that De was asleep he was alone in the house. No one to distract him and perhaps crucially no one to back him up should something happen, unlikely as it was.

Although he doubted that De could help him out - little as he was - the baby at least provided a constant distraction of all the responsibilities Sam now had. Sam was the only one who could protect De at the moment. Glancing at his brother again as the baby gave a sleepy snuffling breath he thought just how dependant his brother was on him right now. How had Dean ever found that level of trust - in anyone - enough to let himself become so very vulnerable? It was mind boggling!

Sam's thoughts once again drifted to when he was a baby. Had his brother felt this way? How many times had a very young Dean been left alone at night with his infant sibling, knowing that he was the last line of defence against all of the terrible creatures out there? How overwhelmed must that little boy version of his brother have been, and how had he managed to keep on going? Sam felt like breaking down at the enormity of his own situation, despite the fact that has a fully grown trained hunter currently in a heavily warded house that must still contain traces of the Angels that frequently lived there. No supernatural fugly was bound to try coming anywhere near them now or in the future. But how had a small child been able to cope - untrained and most likely in some crappy motel wondering just when their Dad was coming home.

With all of these thoughts racing around his head and feeling just a bit emotional, Sam knew that he wasn't going to be able to go far from his brother that night. Indulging himself, Sam ran his hand through his brother's short sleep warmed hair and mumbled "I'll be right here De. I'm not leaving you", before pulling his had away and moving to raise the rails of the crib so that his brother would be safe and secure,

Standing back slightly and looking around the room, Sam found his perfect resting place for the evening. Whipping a spare blanket off of the back of the rocking chair, Sam wrapped it around himself and settled himself in the chair. Making himself as comfortable as possible Sam indulged himself slightly and began to rock the chair. Relaxing as much as he possibly could Sam watched and guarded his brother's sleep and eventually drifted off himself. 

============  
Sam jolted awake and sat bolt upright as he looked around frantically looking for the threat. A sudden loud noise had woke him up and he did his usual sweep of the room, desperately wishing that he had thought to grab a weapon before settling down for the night. 

Seeing no immediate threat but still on high alert, Sam scanned the room for what could possibly have startled him. 

His eyes fell on the form of his brother kneeling up in the crib and crying and softly calling out a muffled "Daddy? Da-add-y?" from behind where he still had his pacifier. He was holding himself up with the crib bars and one hand was still clutching at his blanket. The baby was looking around the room with sleepy looking eyes even as he called out to his daddy. 

Although his brother was calling out quietly, it must have been that noise that had startled him from his sleep. Sam's senses were too well trained from his life as a hunter to ignore even the softest of noises. 

Shaking himself more awake Sam hastily pushed off the covers and made his way over to the crib. Keeping his voice quiet and reassuring Sam called out "De! De, it's ok baby. It's ok. Sammy's here."

"Sa-a-mmy?" came a fragile whisper in response as De reached a hand up to scrub tears out of his eyes. 

"Yeah baby, it's Sammy. I'm here" Sam soothed as he reached the crib and ran his hand through De's mussed hair. He had to suppress a huge yawn as he did so though. How long had he slept? It felt like he had only just drifted off. 

"Da-add-y Sa-amm-y?" De pleaded through a yawn. 

Now that he was up close Sam could see two identical lines of tears trailing over his brother's cheeks and he reached for De's cheeks to brush them away with his thumbs. "Sorry De. Not yet baby. Your Daddy will be back tomorrow" he soothed.

This just prompted more quiet cries and whispered whimpers of "Da-a-ddy?" which Sam probably would have missed had he not been stood right next to his brother. 

Unable to take the heartbreaking sounds his brother was producing Sam quickly lowered the side of the crib and pulled his brother into an embrace. He felt De lean into him and begin to twist his hands into the shirt he was wearing. "I know you miss him De. But he'll be back soon I promise. It's ok" Sam said calmly as he allowed himself to sink onto the crib mattress and began to rock his baby brother back and forth. 

Speaking softly Sam asked "Why are you awake huh? It's far too early for you to be up De." He wondered what it was that had caused his brother to wake up - recalling that Cas said the De had nightmares sometimes. Like all hunters Sam knew his brother had nightmares about some of the things they had faced or been forced to do in their line of work, but he wondered if those dreams were effecting De as a baby or if it was something else. For when he himself became little most of his dreams were about simple things - not about the hunt. Although some still inevitably came through, the most disturbing dreams for his little self were of his Daddy leaving or his brother dismissing him for some reason. Maybe it would be something like that? 

His brother didn't seem overly distressed however - his crying was the sad kind of distressed not scared - so maybe it wasn't a nightmare at all. 

"De?" he prompted, giving his brother a little wiggle in order to prompt him into speaking. 

De however had no desire to answer as he clutched onto his brother and continued with his tears. He was sleepy and uncomfortable and he wanted Daddy! Sammy was good but he wanted his Daddy now - it had been a really long time! Although not fully crying or wailing, De couldn't help the sad tears that still streamed down his face. 

Feeling his brother clutching at him tighter and hearing the baby suck in a shuddering breath Sam sighed and replied "Ok De, ok. Just take your time baby. Shh. It's ok. It's ok."

De cried quietly for a while as Sammy rocked and cooed to him, but eventually Sam sensed as De stopped crying as the boy sagged into him a little more and nuzzled his face into his neck. He allowed his brother to cuddle for a moment as he continued to make hushing and soothing noises to the baby. 

Taking a glance down Sam saw that De was now calmly resting his head upon his shoulder and was softly sucking on his pacifier. At some point De had smushed his blanket between Sam's shoulder and his face. Dean looked sleepy and sweet, face slightly flushed from the crying. 

Sam was reluctant to disturb his brother in order to find out what had woken him up, but he felt like he needed to know. Before he could ask however the answer was given to him when De squirmed suddenly on his lap before settling back down again with a sigh. 

Crap. De was wet. 

Heaving a deep sigh and steeling himself again Sam lightened his voice and made it deliberately cheerful as he stated "Looks like you need a change again De. Let's get it over with quick and then you can get back to sleep! Can’t be fun sleeping in a soggy diaper huh?". 

De whined sleepily from where he was nestled. He was comfy and he didn't want Sammy to move!

However before De could properly work himself up Sam was pushing the boy back to sit up on his own and was de-tangling the baby's hands from his shirt before standing up and moving back slightly. Not giving De an option Sam hurried over to grab the changing supplies while cheerfully calling back "Stay right there baby. I'm just getting your stuff and I'll be right back." As soon as he had finished speaking he was back by the crib clutching the bag of changing materials. 

De blinked up at his brother in surprise before he felt himself being pushed back to lie on the crib mattress. Things were happening too quickly and he was too tired to try and keep up. He just stared up at his brother and watched what was happening carefully. 

Sam was tired. He yawned as he bent De's knees up in order to then push his brother up and slide the change mat underneath of the boy's bottom. He needed to change his brother's diaper again and it was the middle of the night. He really didn't want to, feeling a blush flame across his cheeks as embarrassment spread through him, but he figured it would be better to just get the undesirable task over with quickly before his brother could have another meltdown like earlier. He didn't need to deal with that now. 

Surprisingly, his quick decisiveness due to his tiredness was coming across as a take charge attitude and De was responding well to it. Continuing to say soothing things to the sleepy baby on the bed Sam quickly got out the things he needed and began the process of changing his brother again. He still hesitated in a few places, unsure of what he was doing and mind going blank with tired confusion. However not too long later Sam found himself wiping his hands clean and doing his brother's pyjamas back up. 

As soon as that task was complete and he put the items away in the bag on the floor by the crib, Sam looked back up at his brother's face and smiled. "There! Bet that feels better doesn't it De" Sam commented through a yawn. It dawned on him that he'd just changed his brother's diaper again in the dark no less. The fact stunned him. Maybe he was getting better at this!

He was distracted from his musings once more when his brother whimpered up at him and raised his arms wanting to be picked up. 

"Alright baby. Come 'ere" Sam sighed again, manipulating his brother so that the other man was basically cradled across his lap again. Sam was so tired! Looked like he wasn't going to get to go back to sleep any time soon. Settling back against the crib bars again Sam closed his eyes as he adjusted De in his arms. 

Slightly grumpy thoughts fled his mind immediately as he felt a timid hand reach up and grab hold of his hair. Opening his eyes Sam looked down to find De resting comfortably against him and gazing dazedly up at him as he began to twiddle with a lock of his hair that was falling down by his cheek. 

It was adorable. Sam felt so at peace being so close to his brother. "Hi baby" he breathed, smiling down at the man in his arms. 

De cooed up at him, not quite smiling behind his pacifier - too tired and missing his Daddy too much to be able to smile, but he was comfy and warm and dry - content in his brother's arms. 

Lost in each other's embrace, the brother's were unaware of time passing, and with coos and whispers of comfort they drifted off to sleep.


	15. Breakfast battles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sammy wakes up to find De missing and his morning continues to improve from there as he has to battle a full of energy De over breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a longer chapter for you this time. I struggled with it for a while as I completely lost motivation half way through, but I think it picked up again nicely. 
> 
> I don't think there will be too many chapters left but we'll see how things go.

What felt like a short time later Sam was blinking gritty feeling eyes open only to be greeted with sunlight streaming in through the window of the nursery. Slamming them shut again he let out a long groan of despair. How could it be morning already? Sam had only just gone to sleep! 

He shifted his weight about, easing the stiffness in his limbs from where he had slept awkwardly. Only then did he discover that something was wrong. 

Where was De?

Hadn't he fallen asleep basically cradling his brother last night? Shit! 

Sitting bolt upright Sam frantically called out "Dean?! De!" as he whipped his head around trying to spot his missing sibling. Where the hell was his brother?! What if something had happened to him? Cas would kill him! 

Sam's frantically beating heart almost stopped when he eventually located the missing baby. 

De was sitting calmly on the floor not too far away innocently pushing about his train and currently looking up at Sam like the man had gone crazy. Couldn't he see that he was right here? What was the big deal?

Sam had to clutch a hand to his chest as he took several deep calming breaths. He'd nearly had a heart attack! Racing over to the confused baby he gripped the boy by the shoulders with a panicky voice asked "What were you thinking De? You know you aren't supposed to leave the crib without a grown up! You scared the hell out of me dude!"

De just looked more confused than ever and was beginning to look a bit startled at his brother's alarm. Did he need to be upset about something? De was beginning to take his cues for emotions from the "grown-ups" around him - so if they were upset then maybe he needed to be too? For the moment however he just pointed to the still lowered crib bars and said "Down?" Didn't Sammy know that De was only meant to stay in the crib if the bars were up? If they were down then he was allowed to get out! That was the rules!

Sam looked long and hard between his brother and where the baby was pointing before closing his eyes and groaning again - shoulders slumping in realisation at what his brother was saying. Of course. He hadn't put the crib bars up again last night after climbing into the bed with his brother last night. How had he not noticed his brother climbing out though? He must be more tired than he thought. He was brought out of his musings by the giggling of a baby amused by his expression. 

Smirking Sam said "Ok De. Alright. That was Sammy's fault for not putting the bars back up. But can you try and stay where I can see you from now on? You nearly gave me a heart attack dude!"

More giggling came from a highly amused Dean who only agreed "'Kay Sammy!" before patting the sides of the man's face in what was probably meant to be a comforting gesture.  
"Oh? Think that's funny huh?" Sam taunted in mock grumpiness before teasing "See if you think this is funny then!" immediately tackling the baby and beginning to tickle the boy's sides mercilessly which provoked loud squeals and wiggles out of the squirming baby. 

Eventually Sam backed off and gave both himself and the baby some space to catch their breaths and to calm down. Both of them kept their huge grins however. 

"You're a happy baby this morning" Sam commented off happily as he watched his brother bring his giggles under control. 

"Yeah!" De shouted, clapping his hands and enjoying himself. Sammy was happy so he was happy! He was all full of wiggles and energy this morning and he felt really good!

"What's made you so happy then? " Sam asked, hoping to find something to use for the future to cheer his brother up. He ended up disappointed as De didn't exactly seem inclined to share and was now just humming happily and sucking on a few fingers. Sam briefly considered going to find a pacifier again, but ultimately decided against it as it was time for breakfast. 

Thinking about that …"Is that your tummy I hear growling De?" he asked, unable to resist giving his brother a poke in that general area, prompting a new round of giggles and unfortunately a large amount of spit to run over De's fingers as he laughed and replied again "Yeah!" before sliding them back in to his mouth. 

Trying hard to hide his grimace at the gross sight his brother's fingers now presented, but still grinning Sam heaved himself up off the floor before commenting "Well come on then! I think we'd better go get some breakfast don't you?". Absentmindedly he reached a hand out to help De up and had to shudder with horror as De used his drool covered hand to clutch hold of his. Pulling the baby to his feet Sam tried to remember all of the times when he had been covered in much more disgusting fluids but his mind was going blank. Still, once De was on his feet he began to lead the baby down to the kitchen in search of food. 

Once they arrived in the kitchen Sam released De to quickly wash his hands off, really not liking being covered in his brother's spit but tried to cover by asking "So! What'cha want for breakfast?"

"Pie!" came De's cheerful cry accompanied by clapping. 

"You can't have pie for breakfast De. You know that. What does Daddy usually get you?" Sam prodded. He honestly couldn’t remember what Cas gave his brother for breakfast when he was little. When Dean was big he usually made himself eggs and bacon or pancakes - cooking for everyone else while he did it. When Sam himself was little he ate the cooked breakfast that Dean or Gabriel made for him, or he had some fruit and cereal. Trouble was he didn't pay attention to what his brother ate while he was in that headspace or when they were both regressed. 

"Daddy b'ttle" De mumbled distractedly as by now he had made his way over to the fridge and was fiddling with some of the magnets that were stuck on it. 

"Yeah ok, Daddy gives you a bottle, but what else do you eat De?" Sam asked again. He was absolutely certain that Cas would give his brother more substantial to eat - both angels were quite fussy about them eating well when they were little - especially seeing as their diet wasn't exactly the greatest while they were on the road. 

De just frowned and repeated "Daddy b'ttle!" again a little bit more forcefully, even as he continued to move the magnets about on the fridge. He'd just told Sammy! Daddy always gave him a bottle for breakfast. 

Sighing Sam gave up and grabbed one of the ready-made bottles to put into the warmer while simultaneously beginning to prepare coffee for himself. He'd have to think of something to give his brother. Let's get him started with the bottle though Sam thought, and leaned back against the counter to watch his busily playing brother and to wait for the bottle to warm. 

That done, Sam called his brother over. "De! Breakfast!"

De completely ignored him and continued playing. 

"De! Breakfast. Come on!" Sam called again placing the warm bottle on the kitchen table and waiting. 

When De continued to just ignore him Sam went over to stand directly in front of the fridge so that De couldn't reach the magnets. 

The sudden appearance of legs blocking his view of the toys caused De to whine in annoyance. When that didn't make the legs move he pushed at them a little, grunting in frustration as that also didn't get them to move. "Uh!"

"No. We don't push people De, that's naughty!" Sam scolded, a little shocked at himself that he just came straight out and told his brother off. Still, he wasn't going to put up with his brother doing things like that - Dean had never let him get away with that type of behaviour after all. 

Startled by his big brother's tone of voice more than anything De immediately dropped his hands to his sides as he stopped what he was doing at once. He looked up a little worriedly at Sammy, not sure how to proceed from here. 

Sam wasn't exactly sure what to do either. Seeing De's worried expression however he decided to just press on, hoping that De might just be more co-operative now. 

"Good. Thank you for stopping. Let's go get breakfast now" he cajoled. 

De gave him a long hard look before climbing to his feet. Sam extended his hand and De took it gingerly, though it was enough for the taller Winchester to begin leading his brother towards the highchair. 

As soon as De saw where they were headed however he planted his feet and refused to go any further. "NO!"

Sam heaved a huge sigh. He thought maybe De would be good for him and get in the highchair without a fuss but it looked like that wasn't to be. He obviously got lucky last night that De had been too tired to put up a fight. 

"Dean!" he exclaimed, starting to get fed up now, "It's time for breakfast. You need to sit in your chair nicely!"

"No! No! No chair!" De pouted as he stamped a foot on the floor. He was not going to get into that chair. 

"De! Stop that!" Sam snapped, shocked that his brother was having a tantrum - though he probably should have seen it coming given that he knew just how much De hated the highchair. Having lost De already this morning however there was no way he was going to let his brother sit in a normal chair - the boy was too full of energy and would most likely wander off at the first chance. No. De needed to sit in the highchair - safe where Sam could keep an eye on him. Luckily, after snapping De had stopped shouting, though he still looked pretty mutinous. 

Sam decided to change tactics. Making his tone light and curious he asked "Don't you want your yummy bottle De?"

De's eyes snapped up to meet his brothers. What was Sammy getting at? "De's baba?" he questioned. 

"Yeah. De's baba" Sam confirmed. "It's all warmed up and ready for you. See it? Just over there by your highchair. It would be really sad if you couldn't have it wouldn't it?" Sam trailed off with a sad tone. 

"Huh?" De asked grumpily though Sam could tell that he was focused on what he had just said. 

"Yeah. It'd be so sad for De not to have his morning bottle wouldn't it? I'd have to throw all that nice warm milk away."

What what? What was all this about? De was confused now. "Why no?" he asked sceptically, though still with an underlying tone of grumpiness. 

Sam made sure to keep his tone sounding sad yet light enough. He needed to sound convincing. "Oh, well, De always has his morning bottle in his highchair. Seeing as you don't want to go in the highchair I'm guessing you don't want your bottle either. Oh well" he heaved a huge sigh, "I'll just throw this one away huh?" Sam moved over to grab the waiting bottle on the table and began to slowly walk over towards the sink, beginning to twist the teat off as he did so. 

"Ah!" came the expected cry of protest, "De's!"

"What was that?" Sam asked as he turned to look over his shoulder from his current position by the sink. 

"No! De's b'ttle!" De whined as he reached a hand out towards Sam as if that would stop him from pouring away the bottle's content. 

"You do want it then?" Sam asked, sounding surprised. 

"Mmm! De's!"

Edging into dangerous territory again Sam asked "So you'll get into the highchair then?"

Pouting De dropped eye contact and mumbled "Yeh". 

Allowing himself a quick grin as he faced the sink once more Sam quickly smothered it so that his brother wouldn't catch on. He'd won though! He should have thought of using food to get his brother to do things earlier. No matter what headspace he was in Dean always responded for food. 

Turning back to his brother and screwing the nipple back onto the bottle Sam put it on the table - away from his brother's grip at the moment as he wouldn't put it passed even baby De to pull something like grabbing the bottle and making a run for it - and once again began to lead his openly sulking brother towards the highchair once more. "Alright then. Let's get you set up and then you can have your yummy bottle". 

De wiggled and whined complaints but did allow himself to be boosted into the chair and strapped in. As soon as the tray was snapped into place he demanded "Baba!" smacking his hands down upon it. 

"Alright, alright! Man you're a brat this morning De you know that?" Sam commented as he handed the baby the bottle. 

De gave his brother what - if it had been Big Dean - Sam would have sworn was a smirk before stuffing the nipple of the bottle into his mouth and beginning to suckle strongly.  
Now that De was safely in the highchair, Sam could concentrate on getting himself and De some more breakfast. Well. Breakfast for him and something more solid to go with the bottle of formula that was currently occupying his brother. 

The problem was he knew he probably had a limited amount of time before his brother finished with his bottle and demanded attention. Or threw some kind of huge tantrum about being in the highchair. 

Sam was very much aware that he had narrowly escaped a meltdown a moment ago. There was someone else usually around in the kitchen while De was in the highchair - be it him in his little head space or Castiel or Gabriel - leaving someone else to cook un-distracted. 

So no. With the mood his seemingly fully energised brother was in this morning, cooking would not be an option.  
Something simple would have to do.  
Quickly raiding the fridge he spotted a new carton of yoghurt and casting around he spotted the fruit and a box of cereal on the counter.  
Perfect.  
Sam began to spoon out some yoghurt into two separate bowls and then worked on chopping up some fruit before placing it on only one plate. He wasn't even going to attempt getting his brother to eat fruit - he'd leave that fight to Castiel thank you very much!

Half way through his preparation Sam was interrupted - as expected by the sound of his brother whining. 

Not even commenting on the noise Sam just grabbed the box of cereal and made his way over to his struggling sibling who was doing exactly what Sam had thought and was pulling at the chair's straps - not enjoying the sensation of restricted movement. 

"Finished your bottle? Good boy! How about some cereal?" Sam commented mostly speaking to himself as he didn't think De would actually respond at the moment. The baby was too grumpy and seemed to be deliberately ignoring him. Hopefully this would cheer him up though....

Sam sprinkled a handful of Cheerio's on the highchair tray before deliberately walking away and returning to his fruit preparation to give the baby some space. 

De was really busy. He'd drunk all of his yummy bottle and his tummy was beginning to feel all nice. Certainly warm! Bottles always made him feel good. 

However. He'd finished his drink and he was still stuck in the highchair. This was not acceptable. AND Sammy wasn't even paying him any attention! Not cool! So - De had decided to whine and let his brother know about the state of affairs. Sammy didn't pay him any attention though! Rude! 

Well. If Sammy wasn't going to get him out then he would have to do it himself. Ok it had never worked before, but this time…

Completely immersed in his task, De was taken by surprise when he heard a small clattering sound from in front of him. Glancing down and inadvertently stopping pulling on the horrible straps, he was shocked to see lots of little round cereals in front of him. What was happening? He never got this for breakfast - Daddy said he needed more healthy food and so De never got these. This was Big Dean's breakfast! 

Not quite believing his luck at having got the usually banned Big Dean food De questioningly called out to his brother "O's?"

Bringing over the prepared food Sam replied "Yeah! O's! You like those?"

"Yeh!" De cried happily and began kicking his legs out and grabbing hold of several of the Cheerio's to shove into his mouth. He kinda hand to grab them up with his whole hand and then shove them into his mouth. Sometimes it was hard to do things like he knew big Dean did them. Daddy said it was ok though. He was a baby and could make messes and get help with things. He used his tongue to scoop a wayward O from the bottom of his hand, leaving behind lots of drool. This was awesome! Sammy let him have O's! For breakfast! And he was feeding himself!

Sam watched as his brother began to happily munch on his food. De's mood was so changeable! One minute whining and seconds away from a tantrum and the next happy and giggling away. Weird. Sam wondered if his little self was like this or if it was just due to De having the headspace of a baby. 

Whatever. That was a problem for another time. Slipping a bib around his brother's neck with absolutely no complaint Sam then sat down and began to tuck into his own breakfast. 

De watched his brother with interest. "Sammy? No O's?" Why wasn't Sammy taking part of the special treat?

"No. None for me. You have them De" Sam commented off handedly as he popped a fruit segment into his mouth. 

None for Sammy?! That wasn't right! Sammy should have some of the special cereal too! Grabbing hold of a couple De held them out for his brother. "Sammy! O's!"

Chuckling at the offer Sammy smiled at his brother and pushed the hand back "Thanks De. But you have them."

"Sammy! O's! O's!" De demanded insistently holding his hand back out again. 

Realising his brother was not going to give up - he never did when it was something that he thought would be good for 'Sammy' - Sam reluctantly plucked a single Cheerio off of his brother's spit covered hand. With a sigh he pretended to eat it before actually subtly chucking the soggy piece of cereal away. "Mmm! It's good! Thanks De. You better eat the rest though" Sam said exaggerating his cheerfulness for the baby's sake. 

De grinned and kicked his legs squealing with joy as Sammy accepted his gift. Sammy liked the O's! And even said that De could have the rest! He really did have the bestest brother ever!

It got even better when Sammy began to feed him some yoghurt between his mouthfuls of cereal. Then Sammy would go back to eating his own breakfast before feeding him some more yoghurt. 

Soon enough all the food ran out and De leaned back in his highchair full and content, gurgling happily and ready to see what his big brother had planned for next.


	16. Getting ready for the day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brother's need to get dressed for the day. Couldn't run into any trouble doing that could they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, sometimes ideas just hit as I'm writing. This chapter did not end the way I thought it would - but I think that it ended better than I planned. 
> 
> I think there will probably be about another 2-3 chapters before this fic is all finished. Possibly 4. I have a couple of things started, but as always feel free to give me ideas or prompts and i'll see what I can do!

Sam sighed contentedly as he finished his breakfast. It hadn't turned out too bad actually! He'd eaten well, had fed his brother and had ended up with a smiling baby at the end. Not too shabby! 

Standing to collect the bowls Sam got a proper look at his happy looking brother and couldn’t help but laugh. 

Despite having fed his brother, De's face and hands were completely covered in yoghurt. When eating the cereal he must have smeared yoghurt everywhere!

"You're covered in yoghurt baby!" he explained when De gave him a curious look, "I think you even got it in your hair dude!"

De began to hum happily as Sam chuckled at him. He was pleased that his brother was happy. He'd looked all stressed out for a while there and De didn't like that. 

The hum became an annoyed squawk and a wiggle when Sammy brought up his bib to begin to wipe away the yoghurt. De thought he had escaped the dreaded wash when Sammy unclipped his bib and walked away and peeked out from where he had screwed his eyes up to hide, but had to try and wiggle away again when his big brother returned with some wipes and began to clean his hands as well!

"Off! Ooooffff!" he protested but it didn't seem to make any difference as Sammy just continued to scrub at his hands. De didn't know why he bothered - his hands always ended up sticky again anyway. 

"I know dude. I know. Nearly done buddy, your being so good. Hey! When I'm done you can get down!" Sammy offered as a distraction as he struggled to clean his brother's fingers. 

"Down?" De asked as he suddenly stilled. Man how he wanted to get out of the stupid chair!

"Yep. Just hold still one more minute and I'll let you out" Sam replied calmly as he wiped away - his task suddenly easier. 

"'Kay Sammy!" came De's answer and Sam could tell that the baby was making a concentrated effort to hold still. Now that he was still De could see just how covered his hands were. Holding up the one that Sammy hadn't got to yet De crowed "Ick Sammy!" and giggled happily. 

"Yeah. Very ick" Sam grimaced as he grabbed hold of that hand and began the process of wiping again. 

Task done he quickly unlatched the tray before unsnapping the straps and helping to lower his brother to the ground. "You're free! 

"Yeah!" De cheered as he bounced and clapped his hands. 

"Happy baby" Sam commented with a grin before asking "Shall we go get changed and then we can figure out something to do today?"

That sounded really good! De was still in his jammies and his diaper was all wet again so he really wanted to get changed now. And Sammy was still in his clothes from yesterday which was weird. "'Kay Sammy!" he nodded. Besides, the sooner they got changed the sooner they could play! De was ready to play now!

"Alright then buddy, let's go then" Sam said as he grabbed his brother's hand and began to lead the way. With the way De was practically vibrating with energy it would be good to keep him close. 

Sam took his brother to the nursery, deciding to get the baby sorted first as he was almost positive that the boy would be wet by now. Grabbing the needed supplies while keeping hold of the bouncing baby, Sam spread out the change mat one handed before helping to lower his brother onto it. 

Quickly stripping his brother Sam set about getting his brother changed as quickly as possible. Sam was blushing as he reached for his brother's diaper again but just ploughed on wanting to get the task over with. His task was made harder by the fact that his brother was a lot more wiggly than the last two times he had changed the baby. When he was able he gave gentle pats to his brother's leg in order to try and get him to settle down and all the while he was cooing soft reassurances. 

"Ok baby. I know. I know. We'll be done in just a sec. Just hold still buddy, just for a few seconds."

De meanwhile was also blushing and had began to whine again - just because he was uncomfortable and didn't really want to be changed by his brother again. He still had conflicted feeling about it. He also just wanted to go! He couldn't help but wiggle, though Sammy kept telling him to sit still. 

"All done De, well done! Up you get" Sam praised as they finished the change a few moments later and levered his brother up. Quickly grabbing some baby friendly jeans (that had an elasticated waist and discreet poppers down the legs) and a soft blue t-shirt decorated with a bright green car. 

Dressing the baby quickly and with little fuss, Sam then led his brother first into the bathroom so that he could himself quickly use the toilet. Placing his brother facing the wall and distracting him with a toy Sam took care of his business before giving himself a super quick sink wash.

That done Sam led his brother into his own bedroom so that he could get changed for the day as well. Allowing his brother to drop to the floor, figuring that it was safe enough to let De crawl about and explore, Sam went about finding his own clothes for the day and changing into them. Although he kept his back to his brother he could hear contented gurgles and coos so assumed his brother was fine. 

Grabbing hold of his hairbrush and turning to see where his brother actually was Sam ended up dropping the object as his heart once again leapt into his throat. 

For De was kneeling on the floor and was looking over the edge of his desk. One of his brother's hands was up at his mouth where the fingers were being sucked on, but the other…the other was gently fingering Sam's favourite knife that he had left there after its last cleaning. 

Although panic gripped him Sam didn't want to startle his brother - unwilling to accidently cause his brother to cut himself. He kept his weapons deathly sharp after all. Just like his big brother had taught him to. He could still hear his brother repeating the phrase he had heard his whole life. "Take care of your weapons Sammy and they'll take care of you."  
Taking a shaky step forward Sam made sure that his voice was as calm as he could make it and called out "Dean? De? Baby, can you let go of the knife for me please? Please?"

De cocked his head to listen as his brother spoke. Take his hand off? But this new toy was pretty! He just wanted to look at it. He continued to suck at his fingers as he ran a finger over the shiny. 

"Please De. Please. Take your hand off baby. It's not for babies buddy and I don't want you to get hurt. Come here and we'll find something more fun to play with I promise" Sam pleaded, watching as his brother's fingers dragged over the surface of his knife. It was a miracle he hadn't been cut already. 

Get hurt? How could he get hurt by something so pretty De thought. However his brother sounded kind of strange so he probably should go check that out. De always had to make sure Sammy was ok. Big Dean did, so he needed to too. 

With one last lingering look at the pretty thing De took his hand away and turned, about to crawl back to his brother when he found himself bumping into Sammy's tummy! When had Sammy gotten there?

Sam had steadily crept towards his brother, anxious not to disturb him, but needing to make sure that the baby stayed safe. De seemed to be listening to him however as he watched the baby take his hand off of the knife. By the time De was clear of the object and began to turn away from the table Sam was right next to him and grabbing him into a crushing embrace. 

"God Dean! You scared me!" Sam breathed as he held his brother close, just enjoying the feel of his brother safe in his arms. God he couldn't take his eyes off of him for a second! How did Castiel do this all the time?! 

"'Ammy?" De asked from where he was squished against his brother's chest. Not that he didn't like hugs, but this was pretty tight. De could hardly move!

Pulling back but keeping a hold of De by the shoulders Sam looked dead into his brother's eyes and began to scold. "Don't you ever do that again! You can't touch knives! You could have been hurt De!" He was giving out more out of sheer panic than anything else, though he could tell De was worried as the baby's eyes began to tear up. He could tell that De didn't really understand what he had done wrong though - the baby was reacting to his tone rather than because he knew what he had done wrong. 

"S-sorry Sammy!" De stuttered as he made grabby hands at his brother again wanting to be back in that crushy embrace. 

Bringing De back in for a more comforting hug Sam held his baby brother tight. "It's ok baby. You're ok. It's all ok. It's all ok" he repeated on a loop as he rubbed a hand up and down his brother's back. Sam wasn't sure if he was comforting De or himself, but he kept up his litany of reassurance anyway. 

"Sorry Sammy" De repeated again quietly. He still wasn't entirely sure what he had done to upset his Sammy, but he knew he needed to make it better. And Daddy said saying sorry made people feel better. That and kisses, but seeing as he was squished against his brother's chest again he couldn't exactly do that. 

Heaving a shuddering sigh and pulling back again to get a good look at De, raising a hand to wipe away the trickle of tears. "It's alright baby. It's alright. Let's go do something downstairs now huh?" he offered, trying hard to plaster a smile on his face though he still felt fairly shaken. 

As De nodded, Sam helped to get his brother on his feet again. This time he bypassed holding his brother's hand and wrapped his arm over his brother's shoulders instead, needing to be close right now. "Come on then" he said, and began to lead the way.


	17. Shoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go to play but first there is the small issue of getting shoes on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! hope everyone had a happy holiday!   
> I've been struggling with writing for a bit so sorry about the wait for this chapter. Hope you enjoy it

Sam released De's hand as soon as they got to the family room and waited patiently for De to find something that he wanted to play. De however just stayed by his side and slipped a thumb into his mouth while looking up at him curiously. 

Sighing once again - would his brother's hands never be drool free? - Sam went over to collect a clean pacifier out of a side draw before bringing it over and slipping it into the baby's mouth. 

Once his brother was suckling contentedly and had offered him a shy smile Sam asked "So what do you feel like doing De? Lots of toys to choose from baby, why don’t you pick?"  
De made some non committed noises that weren't decipherable behind the pacifier before toddling over to where they had left the cars out the day before and sat down began to push them about on the mat. 

"You want me to play with you De?" Sam asked as he watched the baby begin to play, but again he only received muffled mumbles so instead he settled himself down on the sofa nearby and picked up a book to read. It was still close enough to make sure that De wouldn't get into any more trouble, but far enough away that they both could have some space. 

De seemed to be content enough to play for a while but Sam saw as they baby paused in his playing every so often to stare almost longingly at the screen doors leading outside.  
"We can go outside you know" Sam commented lightly, peering quietly over the top of his book after the latest look his brother had given the door. 

"Out?" De echoed, a small amount of longing creeping into his voice. 

"Yeah. You want to go?" Sam asked again, carefully marking his place in his book and placing it down - knowing that he wasn't going to be able to keep going with it for a little while at least. 

"Yeah! Out! Out!" De cheered and excitedly began to crawl over to Sam before using Sam's trouser leg to haul himself up onto his knees. "Pees out Sammy?" he pleaded.

Gripping hold of De's hands to steady him - mostly to save himself from the clawing grip De was inadvertently giving his leg - Sam chuckled as he replied "Alright, alright De! Put away the big eyes, we'll go! You don't have to beg dude."

As Sam stood and pulled De to his feet he commented "Lets go grab some shoes and then we'll go out alright?" 

De pulled his hand away and rushed towards where the shoes were kept, giving out a squeal of excitement. Sam followed more slowly and watched as De plopped himself on the floor and began to pull on his shoes before reaching down and pulling on his own. 

He finished up and watched as De stood on somewhat shaky legs and began to toddle down the hallway towards the back door. De always was a little wobbly due to the thick diaper between his legs - it made him have to waddle slightly to accommodate it comfortably - but this was excessive even for him. Sam was actually worried about him falling over. Had he forgotten to do something? Had De become injured in some way he didn't know about?

"De? Maybe you should come hold my hand dude?" he called out worriedly, knowing that once outside they would have to go down the porch steps and not trusting his brother's sudden instability. 

Sam was relieved when De immediately came toddling back and offered his hand up happily. taking a hold of it with a soft "Thanks De" Sam continued on his way, glad that he could keep De safe. 

Unable to help himself, Sam took a look down to see if he could figure out why his brother had suddenly become so wobbly and barked out a laugh at what he discovered.  
De had his shoes on the wrong feet. That was the only reason he was suddenly walking weird!

"Oh dude! Look at your feet! You've got your shoes on the wrong way 'round!" Sam laughed as he stopped and pointed out, making De stop and look as well. 

"Nu-huh!" De protested as he looked down. They looked right to him!

"Yeah buddy. They're definitely wrong. Sorry" Sam chuckled as he dragged his brother over to the sofa. He'd need to sort them out before they went any further. 

"No Sammy!" De protested as he was pulled over and sat on the couch. His shoes were fine! He could tell!

"Yep!" Sam continued, chattering away even as he pulled the shoes off of a wiggly De who was trying to keep his feet away. "We'll get these sorted out and then we can go play alright?" His job was made easier by the fact that Cas had got Dean soft velcro shoes for when he was little and they slipped on and off fairly easily. The whole while De was wiggling and protesting faintly. 

As soon as the shoes were off, De snatched hold of them and wormed his way off of the sofa to get away from Sam. "No! De do it!"

Smirking, but indulging his brother as he found the situation rather funny Sam sunk down to sit more comfortably on the floor to watch. "Alright then buddy. De do it." That was a phrase he remembered intimately from his own childhood. Dean practically taunting him with something that he knew Sam was unable to do yet willing to let Sam try - not wanting to squash his little brother's independence. 

"De do it?" De asked skeptically, clutching his shoes to his chest, wary that his brother might try and take them off of him at any time.

 

"Yep. De does it. Go on. Show me how" Sam encouraged with a wave of the hand. He wanted to see this. He imagined this would be good. 

De stared at his brother warily. What was happening? He never got to do stuff like this! Daddy usually just took his shoes from him and put them on! He had got to do it once and now Sammy was letting him do it again? Weird! Still. He wasn't going to let this chance go of Sammy was letting him do it! He'd prove that he could do stuff! Sammy would see that he was a big boy too!

Plonking himself down on his bottom again and giving Sammy one last skeptical look De then turned away and got to work. Holding his shoes in his hands he examined them, turning them around. Thing was, they looked pretty right the first time so he wasn't sure what he was suppose to do now. 

Sam watched, highly amused as he observed the baby trying to figure out his shoes. It was funny to be on the other side for once. He remembered from when he was little himself that sometimes you just got so far into the headspace that simple tasks became quite difficult. The fact that De couldn't figure out his own shoes at the moment proved it. He also knew just how much he wanted to prove himself sometimes, so for the moment he was quite content to let his brother struggle with the task. 

"Having trouble there little man?" Sam called out - a slightly teasing tone to his voice. He didn't mean anything mean by it - he was just finding the situation funny. The minute De asked for help, he'd be over there in a flash. 

Over on his piece of the carpet De was still struggling. He totally ignored his brother when he called out. He'd show Sammy! he thought as he jammed his foot into one of the soft shoes. There! He had one shoe on! But… it didn't seem right. It felt kind of funny. But it looked like it fit! Unaware that he was doing so, De eventually began to whine and grump in frustration. It wasn't working! Why wasn't it working!

Sam watched as the baby wound himself up struggling with the shoes. Although he could keep watching for a while yet Sam eventually took pity on his brother and called out softly "Do you need a hand there baby?"

De looked back over his shoulder and saw his brother sat watching him. Sammy had a kind smile on his face. He didn't look like he was upset. But…but De couldn't do it! De looked at the one shoe he still had cradled in his hands and he realised that he really didn't know which foot it needed to be on. He needed help. 

Taking another moment to consider his actions, De then got to his hands and knees and crawled over to his brother. Sniffling a little bit - disappointed that he couldn't do it on his own - De held out his shoe to Sammy and whispered "Pees?" He didn't look up at Sammy just in case Sammy was cross with him for not being able to do it. 

The next thing he knew he felt a gentle hand pulling the shoe out of his grip at the same time another one was tilting his chin up so that he had to look into Sammy's eyes. 

Sammy's eyes that were soft and brown and full of love. 

"Of course I'll help you De. Good boy for having a go though! Well done" Sammy praised softly, rubbing his thumb across De's cheek in a comforting manner. He was most pleased that his brother had come to him for help. It was a big thing for his brother to have done. 

De looked up at his brother and offered a shy smile at the praise. 

The brothers sat quietly contemplating each other before Sam broke the moment by saying "Let's get those shoes on then hey?" and moving away slightly to get at his brother's feet. 

Shoes quickly and expertly put on Sam once again extended a hand to pull his brother up - noting how much more stable he was this time. 

"Let's go play" Sam suggested, and after snagging hold of his baby brother's hand, led the way out into the garden.


	18. nap time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam tries to get his brother down for a nap. It's mostly easy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! I hope everyone has had a good one so far!  
> So. I think this might be the penultimate chapter. There's definately one more to come, but depending on how it goes there could ever so possibly be another. I'm not sure yet. The fic is coming to a close though!  
> Thanks for all the reviews and for the couple of prompts I've recieved. Feel free to send more though! As ever it might take a while to get to them but I do my best!

Sam had to admit that it was nice to get outside for a while. Once in the garden he had trailed after his brother as the baby toddled around and explored the garden. The baby explored what toys had been left outside since last time and generally looked around at the plants and flowers that they had growing. 

After that De had engaged Sammy in a small game of football. Well. Sam supposed it was supposed to be football but it the game mostly consisted of him kicking the ball to De who would completely miss it. The baby would then run after the ball before collecting it and bringing it back to kick it vaguely in Sam's direction. Though he was a little bit bored, the game seemed to keep De happy though so Sam kept with it. 

While waiting for De to collect the ball again Sam found his mind wandering again to when they had been children and all of the times Dean had kept him amused by playing mindless games for hours on end. He wondered just how many times Dean had been in this position - playing something solely for the amusement of his younger sibling. 

Although he had also been a child at the time, given their age gap Sam had to wonder how many times Dean had been stuck playing something he found boring or babyish.  
He then thought about when he had been slightly older and off playing with other children he found in each place they ended up staying in. Although always invited Dean always declined to play - instead hanging back and watching his brother. Dean had always said that he was doing his duty and watching out for danger. How bored must his brother have gotten as a child - standing guard or playing games he didn't want to play? 

Sam did remember lots of smiles and laughs, so it must not have been too bad, but he was still having a rethink about their childhoods. If kicking a ball about for his brother to chase kept De happy then Sam was more than happy to oblige. 

Eventually De had grown bored with the game and had wandered off to play with some trucks that had been left in a patch of dirt by the flowerbed. Although Sam grimaced once again at the sight of De getting all filthy he let his brother push the trucks about, knowing that he had no argument against it - Cas let De play like that after all. 

So Sam had settled himself on the porch swing and watched as his brother got covered in dirt and made car noises as he pushed them around. 

He also watched as De started to yawn and slow down in his play. 

Glancing at his watch Sam saw that it was approaching 11am and recalled that De's nap time was fast approaching. 

Wanting to be on schedule for once Sam climbed to his feet and called out to his brother "De! It's time to come in now."

From where he was sitting De looked up mid yawn at his brother's call. He didn't want to go in though! He was busy! So De did what came naturally and continued to play with his trucks. The only problem was that he kept having to stop every time he yawned though. It was starting to get irritating and De was getting grumpy. 

Sam saw De completely ignore him but continued on his way over to his brother. It made him realise just how much his brother really did need his naps. He'd always questioned the necessity of them in the past, but now he could see just how tired and grumpy the baby was becoming. 

Making a conscious decision not to mention naps at all, knowing that it wouldn't go down well, Sam decided to try coaxing his brother inside in a different way. Crouching down next to his brother Sam reached out and began to run a soothing hand through De's hair. 

"You been busy there De?" he asked keeping his tone soft and soothing. 

"Yeh" De answered shortly, reaching a hand up to fist at his eye. 

"It looks like it. Maybe we should go take a break for a drink huh? I think I need one" Sam suggested as he kept up running his hand through De's hair. He felt De leaning into the touch and sighing softly. 

As De lent more into his brother's touch he kept pushing one of his trucks back and forth. A drink did sound pretty good. But what he really wanted….

"B'ttle S'mmy?" he asked, finally prying his eyes away from where they had been fixed on the floor to peer pleadingly up at his brother. De was pleased when he found Sammy smiling down at him kindly.

"You know what?" Sam beamed, pleased that De had suggested it on his own. "That sounds like a brilliant idea De. A nice warm bottle. Shall we go get one?"

"Yeh" De sighed again, tired now and really liking the sound of the bottle. 

"Come on then baby" Sammy prompted and after standing up, pulled his brother up and wrapped an arm around De's shoulders in order to guide him into the house.

De leaned heavily into his brother, enjoying the embrace. Ok so Sammy couldn't carry him, but this was pretty close and it felt nice. Laying his head on his Sammy's shoulders De let his eyes drift closed, content that his brother would keep him safe. 

De let his hand drift upwards towards his mouth, really wanting to suck on something but found its progress halted. Beginning to whine, he was stopped when Sammy said gently "No no baby. You're hands are all dirty from playing. Let's wash them and I'll find you a nice paci alright?"

Feeling their movement stop, De pried his eyes open to find that he was now stood in front of the kitchen sink. Blinking tiredly De allowed Sammy to help wash his hands off before accepting the pacifier his brother had collected and pushed into his mouth. This would do for now, but he really wanted that bottle!

Sucking slowly De barely heard what his brother asked next, but did comply as Sammy dropped to his knees and started to pull his jeans off - lifting each foot in turn for Sammy to pry off shoes and unthread his legs from the clothing. Something about the jeans being all dirty too? De didn't really know. He just went along with it. 

Having got De out of most of his mucky clothes, Sam took hold of De's hand again and led him over to the fridge where he could collect a bottle ready for warming. He made sure to keep a hold of his brother as De was practically asleep standing up. It wouldn't take a lot to get the baby to sleep this time. 

However upon opening the fridge, Sam was greeted by the sight of several bottles of chilled water but absolutely no bottles of formula which he knew was what his brother wanted and needed right now. 

Dropping De's hand to have a proper rummage through the contents of the fridge Sam was disappointed to come up empty handed. Sighing deeply he turned to look at his fading sibling before forcing a smile onto his face. "Looks like we'll need to make up a bottle for you De, there's none left in here. It won't be too long though. Come on baby. Let's find where your Daddy keeps the bottles huh?"

At this he took De's hand again and led his brother back over to the cupboards before letting go and beginning to root through cupboards for a clean bottle and the formula mix.  
De was quiet as he was led compliantly around the kitchen and stood sleepily rubbing at his eyes when left alone. His eyes never left his brother however as he slowly tracked Sam's movements around the kitchen. 

De whined sleepily as Sam took a while looking around. He was tired and didn't really understand what was happening and Sammy wasn't paying any attention!

"Alright De. Hold on. Hold on. I know. You're so tired" Sam sympathised as he finally found what he was looking for an brought them all over to the table before drawing De close again. De sagged against his brother and suckled slowly on his pacifier, relishing his brother's half embrace and warmth. Having no trousers did make it cold!

Sam meanwhile was rapidly scanning the instructions on the back of the formula can, but was becoming frustrated as they all appeared to be in a language he didn't understand. Of course that would be no problem for an angel of the lord, but for his mortal self it was proving a challenge. Hope sinking, he decided to re-read Castiel's hastily scrawled instruction note, but of course this was just as unhelpful as he thought it would be. Just as before it only held times and suggestions for how to deal with De. There was some vague mention of how to make up the bottles but for the life of him Sam couldn't figure out what Cas had written. The "instructions" we're basically unintelligable. Sam would be having serious words with a certain dark haired angel when he returned that was for sure. 

None of that helped him right now though. He was stuck with a sleepy baby and had absolutely no idea how to make up a bottle. 

He was going to have to give De something though if the heavy suckling on the pacifier that was happening was anything to go by. 

He'd have to make it up as he went along then. 

"Let's get started" Sam commented cheerfully as he pried open the lid of the formula. De was watching him closely so he hoped his nervousness about not knowing what to do was well hidden. It would only serve to unsettle the baby. 

Inside the can he found inside a small blue scoop which helped things along a bit. Filling it up he then dumped it out into the clean bottle he had found. Lifting the bottle up Sam thought it didn't seem like a lot of powder. How many scoops was he meant to use any way? Probably more than that. De seemed to be watching him eagerly anyway. Another one then. Repeating his actions he dumped another scoop into the bottle before looking at it again. Better. Though De was physically a big man so maybe even more?

Filling up his scoop a third time he was about to put that into the bottle as well when De reached out a hand with a pacifier muffled cry of "Noh!"

Hesitating with the scoop hovering directly over the open neck of the bottle Sam looked directly at his brother and asked "No? It doesn't need more? You're a big boy De I don't want you to get hungry".

"No!" De protested with a stamp of his foot and a tired scrub of the eye, "Baby! Not big boy!"

Rushing to soothe his sibling Sam backtracked by saying "I know. I know, you're a little baby. Not a big boy. I just don't want you to be hungry is all."

Frustration leaving him De instead continued to scrub his eye and pointed to the bottle Sam was still holding and simply said "Yucky! No more!"

"It'll taste yucky if I put more in?" Sam questioned as he hesitantly lowered the scoop. 

"Yeh" De nodded and yawned widely. 

"Ok. No more then" Sam confirmed as he put away the rest of the formula powder. Although relieved that he hadn't messed the bottle up, he was amazed that it came down to the baby to have to direct him yet again. What he would have done with an actual baby he had no idea. Then again he would probably have just used one scoop of formula and not made the bottle properly or something. 

He felt bad about doing it but given how inadvertently helpful De had been he sort of half stated half asked "Now we add water?" 

As sleepy as he was De just made a humming sound which Sam took to be vaguely confirming so he took the bottle of powder over to the sink and filled it up. It probably wasn't the right type of water to use - maybe he needed it to be sterilised or something - but he thought it would probably be ok. Having done that he quickly screwed on the nipple and cap before shaking the bottle well and placing it in the ready waiting bottle warmer. 

Knowing that they had a few minutes and looking over at De, Sam figured that he had better get his brother up to bed and fast before he fell asleep where he stood. 

"Come on De. Let's get you upstairs for a change and then your bottle will be all done". 

"De's?" De asked sleepily as he was led up the stairs. 

"Yep. A nice warm bottle all for you buddy" Sam confirmed. 

Once in the nursery Sam set about changing a whiney but compliant De before settling his brother in his crib with his blanket. There was a moment when Sam thought De might protest heavily, though luckily nothing really came of it. 

"No nap Shmammy" De had pleaded as he was guided to lay down. 

"Oh yes baby. Nap time. You're so sleepy! But don't worry. Bottle first I promise."

"Noooo!" De had whined, but had allowed himself to be tucked into blankets, laying comfortably. 

"Yeeeaaah baby. Now stay right there and I'll be right back" Sam had said as he pulled the crib rail up and left to go get Dean's bottle. 

Having snagged it and returned to the nursery Sam was greeted with the sight of De kneeling up in the crib, snuggling his blanket, suckling fiercely on his pacifier and having tears stream down both of his cheeks. 

"Oh De!" Sam sighed as he rushed over to the crib to lower the bar and wrap his arms around his brother. "I told you I'd be right back baby. Don't cry, I'm here."

De still sniffled as he rested his head on Sammy's shoulder. He hadn't liked being alone! He was sleepy and alone and he wanted his Sammy! But Sammy was here now so that was ok. 

Sam cooed reassurances to his brother until he felt De's body sag against him. Manoeuvring him to lie down again Sam cradled his brother and all the while crooning slipped out De's pacifier and slipped the nipple of the bottle in, smiling gently as it was accepted and nursed upon gently. 

De for his part allowed all of this to happen and began to suckle the warm milk his brother was offering while gazing trustingly up into his Sammy's face. 

Giving in to his tiredness and the comforting warmth of his bottle, it wasn't long before De fell into a contented sleep. 

Waiting for De to fall into a deep slumber, Sam eventually moved De until he was laying safely on the mattress before tucking him in - making sure that his brother's beloved blanket was tucked safely under his brother's chin. 

After raising and securing the side of the crib Sam stood for a moment just watching his sleeping sibling. Reaching a hand down to smooth through De's hair before standing back Sam whispered "Sleep well Dean. I love you."

Sam flicked on the baby monitor and turned to leave the nursery when he nearly jumped out of his skin as he was faced with the presence of a trench coated being stood calmly in the doorway.


	19. Cas returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel comes back, bringing someone with him....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Here we are! The penultimate chapter! Think it fills in some gaps about what the angels have been up to to tie up some loose ends. No baby De, but I promise the end chapter will be more than fluffy to make up for it! Enjoy! I'm going to watch Sherlock now....byeeeee!

"Holy crap!" Sam gasped, clutching at his chest and backing up a few paces. 

"It's ok Sam. It's just me" Castiel reassured with a calm voice and small grin slightly amused by the younger Winchester brother's reaction. 

"I can see that you jerk!" Sam hissed back, still trying to get his heart rate under control. 

Cas was about to reply but was interrupted by a small moan of displeasure coming from the crib. Both men in the room froze and held their breath as the moan was accompanied by a small wiggle from the body in the crib. 

As De moaned again Castiel made a move to come further into the room but was stopped by a firm glare and threatening finger point from Sam. 

There was no way that Sam was going to chance Cas waking De up. He'd dealt with an over tired De last night and he wasn't doing it again. Alright De was probably Cas's responsibility now but still. He'd just got the baby off to sleep and he wasn't going to let anything wake him up. Not even the baby's Daddy. 

Walking over to the crib he leaned in to rub soothing circles on the baby's back and hushed gently until De settled down into a deeper sleep again. 

Turning back to the angel in the doorway Sam raised a finger to his lips as an order to stay quiet and then gestured downwards, signalling that they should relocate to the family room. Gaining a nod from Castiel they quietly exited the nursery after Sam had grabbed the other end of the baby monitor to take with them. 

Once in the family room Sam whirled round to look at Cas and fairly obviously stated "You're back!"

Smiling fondly Cas confirmed the statement "That I am. I told you I would most likely be back around lunchtime, though it appears that I am a little early if it is only De's naptime."

"Yeah, how did you manage that? I was prepared for you to be back at dinner time or later. What happened? Did everything go ok? What's going to happen now? And how's Gabriel? Is he ok? Did they gang up on you guys?" Sam asked with a rush nervousness clear in his tone. 

"Sam! Sam! Calm down! Everything's fine I promise you. Everything's fine. I'll fill you in in just a moment. But as for Gabriel…." Castiel trailed off and gestured towards the kitchen. 

Sam's eyes widened as he took in Castiel's words, asking a silent question, and at the angel's reassuring nod he whirled around again and took off towards the kitchen. 

Stopping in the doorway, Sam was greeted by the smirking form of an amused archangel leaning comfortably back against the counter top.

"Heyya Sammy! I hear you've joined the babysitter's club!" the golden haired angel grinned.

"Gabe" Sam breathed, and before he knew it, he found himself across the room and grabbing the smaller angel up in a crushing hug. 

"Woah! Watch it Sasquatch! I might not need to breathe but I'm still not a massive fan of all the air being forced out of me you know!" Gabe joked protestingly, though as Sam continued to cling to him his voice softened and he wrapped his arms around the taller man to pat comfortingly at Sam's back. "Hey. It's alright man. Everything's ok dude. I'm fine."

Still clinging on to the archangel Sam whispered a mumbled "Was worried 'bout you".

Sighing, Gabe's voice became serious and he continued to pat Sam's back. "I know. And I'm sorry to have worried you. But I really am fine. I promise."

"Promise?" Sam asked hesitantly. 

"Promise" Gabriel confirmed again, and only then did Sam let go of the angel, backing up and looking slightly sheepish. 

"Ah ah. None of that" Gabriel scolded and rested a reassuring hand on the younger Winchester's shoulder. "It's ok to be emotional dude. I've told you that before and I know I'll have to tell you again" Gabe stated with a pointed look at Sam as the human opened his mouth to protest which caused the man to click it shut again.

"Now. Let's go sit and me 'n' Cassie will fill you in on what's been happening up in heaven. And I'll bet you need a break after looking after the baby monster too" Gabe commented as he began to lead the taller man he still had a hold of over to the kitchen table. 

"It'd be nice to stop for a moment. I don't know how Cas does this all the time!" Sam sighed, tiredness finally catching up to him as the worry he hadn't even known he was holding inside him began to abate. 

"Right?!" Gabe crowed as he pushed Sam down into a chair next to where Cas was already seated "How long have I been saying that?!"

Castiel shot them both an exasperated look as he protested "Dean's not that bad!"

"Dean's not, but babies in general are. And as Dean is a baby he is therefore hard work by default!" Gabe countered as he pulled a chair 'round next to Sam and plonked down. As he did so he snapped his fingers to conjure up drinks for the three of them. A cup of honeyed tea for Cas, a beer for Sam and a fruity cocktail for himself. 

Nodding his thanks to the older of the angels Sam chimed in tiredly "He's right Cas. Babies are non-stop!"

"Still. I don't think it's so bad" Cas countered. 

"Always been mad that one" Gabriel stage whispered to Sam who couldn't hold back a laugh that turned into a sputtered cough as he choked on his mouthful of bear as he caught the look Cas shot Gabe. This of course caused Gabriel to burst into hysterical laughter, mumbling something about glaring kittens. 

"Anyway" Castiel said pointedly as he waited for the other two to calm down, "How was De? Were you both ok?"

"De was fine. It was good. We hit a few roadblocks and De had a couple of meltdowns but we got through them. I'm so glad you're home though!"

"Meltdowns?" Cas asked.

"Yeah. Didn't want his diaper changed last night, which I get. And the others were just because he was overtired and missed you a lot. Oh. And one over the highchair, but you know how that goes" Sam shrugged. 

"Oh Sam, I'm sorry! Sounds like he was really difficult for you. Are you ok?" Cas asked sounding earnest. He'd felt bad about leaving the boys before but now he felt awful. 

"Really Cas it was fine. Honestly. I mean yeah it was difficult but we got through it fine and it was really nice being able to look after De like that you know?"

"How'd you mean?" Gabe asked as he sipped at his cocktail.

"Well. I mean…" Sam paused as he tried to gather his thoughts, "I mean…when De was crying…I had to hug him you know? And he needed to be held when he needed his bottle or when I was reading to him. It's all stuff that we never do and it…it was just kinda nice."

Sam paused again lost in thought and the angels watched as different voices flickered over the human's face. 

Then, suddenly, Sam spoke again. "And it made me think about all the things Dean did for me when we were little you know? He looked after me like that all the time, 'coz God knows Dad didn't. And even when it was hard, I just thought all the time - Dean looked after me when I was a baby and he was only four years old! I just…I mean it was kinda nice to give something back to him. Even if it was only a really little bit." 

Everyone was once again quiet as Sam's words sunk in, each person lost in reflection. But then Sam broke the contemplative mood by loudly complaining "But what the hell was with those instructions man! I had no clue what to feed De most of the time! And I couldn't even read what you wrote about making the bottles up! Thank God De was big enough to help me out a bit!"

Startled Cas hurried to apologise as Gabe lost himself once more to laughing at his brother's expression and at the note Sam had gestured at. 

Once everyone had calmed down again Cas addressed Sam again. "Honestly Sam, I don't know how to thank you enough for looking after my baby. I know it must have been tough for you, but it sounds like you did a fantastic job. From the glimpse I got of him sleeping he seemed fine and perfectly content. He wouldn't have been if you had done anything other than a good job. Thank you so much."

Sam blushed under the praise and had to shrug off the proud hand that Gabriel had placed on his shoulder. Clearing his throat and once again succumbing to his Winchester upbringing Sam changed the topic "So. Want to fill me in on what happened upstairs then?"

"Of course" Gabe agreed, snapping his fingers to refill their drinks, "So what did Cassie tell you before he left?"

"Just that he had to go support you because there was a mass meeting of angels and Raphael was trying to gather people against you. That he wanted to make people say what you'd changed in heaven was wrong and to stir up trouble."

"Basically that’s right," Gabe commented smiling, then his face became more serious. "I know Cassie's said it already, but we're sorry for having to put you in a position where you were responsible for De." Gabe then cut Sam off as he began a protest "No I know that it turned out ok, but it must have been uncomfortable at times. But it really did help having Cas show up and stand by my side."

Gabriel then went on to explain - with frequent additions by Cas - what exactly had transpired over the last day. Castiel had stood with Gabriel, Hannah and Balthazar and had made the case that the changes Gabriel had made in heaven had been for the better. That angels were happier being able to choose how to serve God rather than being assigned to duties and garrisons. That souls were happier being able to mingle rather than being stuck in an internal loop of memories. That all the changes were beneficial and good. 

Raphael and Zachariah on the other hand argued that the changes were basically blasphemous as they were changing what God himself had made and ordered. That things had run a certain way for millennia and things should stay the same. That since Gabriel spent so much time on earth and had abandoned his duties he shouldn't be allowed to come back and change everything. 

Both sides had strong arguments but it was ultimately Cas who'd swayed the opinion. His argument was that having stopped the apocalypse was totally off what God's word had said, and yet God had not intervened to stop those who derailed it. It seemed that God was not displeased with how things had changed and everyone was happier for the apocalypse having been stopped. Maybe the changes to make everyone happier was what God wanted all along?

This reasoning had swayed the minds of those who were wavering and there was a massive surge of support for Gabriel. The voices of Raphael's followers was drowned out and they had left. 

Though they would still have to be watched carefully for any other signs of planning or negative action, Gabe and Cas were content that the problem was resolved for the time being. 

"And Cassie's little speech tied things up quite nicely really. We thought there'd be more squabbling up there but it seems that he'd managed to sway people pretty firmly. Maybe we should make him heaven's new spokes person eh?" Gabe teased as he looked over at his brother who was now choking on a sip of tea.

"N…I…no…I'd never!"

"Relax Cassie! I'd never do that to you and you know it!" Gabe chuckled as he as Sam watched the dark haired angel. 

"I'd never forgive you if you did!" Cas breathed, trying to level a glare at his older sibling but ended up being caught up in the good mood and smiling instead. "Besides," he continued, "I don't plan on leaving my baby again for a good long time! I missed him far too much, even though I knew he was in good hands."

As soon as Castiel had finished speaking sounds began to crackle over the baby monitor as the subject in question began to wake up. 

"Speak of the devil" Gabe quipped. 

"He's been down for about an hour and a half I think Cas" Sam commented, "He'd literally just drifted off when you got back."

"That's pretty good really" Castiel replied as he stood and began to head off towards the door of the kitchen. He paused before leaving however and turned to address Sam again just as De began to whimper more on the monitor. "Sam. Would you mind coming with me? I think it might be better if De saw you first. He'll be expecting you as you were the one who put him down." 

As if to confirm that thought a quiet question of "Sammy?" could just be heard through the beginings of sniffles and tears. 

"Yeah. Yeah alright" Sam agreed as he stood to join Cas. He wouldn't admit it but he was glad to be asked to come along. He'd wanted to greet his baby brother when he woke as well. Maybe he wasn't quite ready to relinquish his responsibility to the baby's daddy just yet.


	20. The angels return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel comes back....as does another someone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are! At the end of this fic! Its been a long time coming and a very fun story to write. Sorry this last chapter took a while. Real life attacked and I've been dealing with the child from hell at work. Hasn't left me a lot of energy for writing I'm afraid.   
> Hope that you enjoy this last chapter! I'm sure there will be a new story coming soon. I have a few prompts I need to work on. But feel free to send me any ideas or things that you'd like to see in this verse in the future.   
> Thank you to all that have followed, left kudos or reviews. They mean more than you can ever know to me!

Dean woke slowly and as he crept back to awareness he once again performed his "I'm awake" check. And as he had so many times before, De found that he was in his crib, in his nursery and that he had a wet diaper on.

He was also alone.

This was not ok. De didn't like being alone. 'Coz who knew how long he'd be alone for? Maybe forever! And De didn't want to be alone forever!

Thinking about being all by himself always scared De and he found himself beginning to whimper a little as tears trickled down his cheeks. 

De wondered why no one was here. Then he remembered that Daddy had gone away to see Uncle Gabe, so that meant that neither of them were here….but Sammy was here! Where was Sammy?

"Sammy?" he called out, hoping that his brother would come find him. He didn't even know where Sammy had gotten to anyway. He didn't like it. Sammy had gone away from big Dean before after all. Big Dean had been all by himself for a really really long time and it had been really sad. Would Sammy leave little De too? De didn't think so, but still….no one was here...

Getting anxious now, De climbed up onto his knees and clung onto the sides of the crib to hold himself up and peer out into the slightly dim nursery. 

Just as De was starting to work himself up, convinced that he was all alone, the nursery door sung open and in entered the one person he was waiting for. One enormous person took up the whole of the doorway and De's heart leapt as he took in the sight of his brother. De thought he might have seen someone else just behind the doorway but he only had eyes for his Sammy. 

All De knew was that he needed his Sammy and he needed him right now. Which made it more confusing for De when Sam just stayed where he was. Why was Sammy just standing there near the door? Couldn't he see that De needed him? 

Thrusting his arms up and making frantic grabby hands De whined "S-a-mm-y!" which seemed to prompt Sammy to come closer. As soon as the bars of the crib had been lowered, De flung himself at his Sammy and finally, finally found himself wrapped up in a warm hug. De slumped with relief. 

"Hey there De. It's ok baby. It's ok. Sammy's here. Did you have a nice nap?" Sam soothed as he gathered his brother into his arms. It was awkward at first as De was kneeling up on the crib matress still, but somehow he managed to manoeuvre them so that he was basically cradling the baby who clung to his chest. De seemed intent on burrowing his head into his neck at the moment and Sam was content to let him, despite the hot tears that were wetting him. 

Once he and Cas had reached the nursery, he had entered first to be greeted by the sight of his baby brother kneeling up in the crib and weeping. It was such a sad sight and it broke his heart a little to see Dean so very vulnerable. Because he knew that De cried when he woke up from more than just a wet diaper. 

Everyone in the house knew that De cried because he thought it might finally be the time he was actually left alone. Being abandoned was Dean's biggest fear, but he hid it well under all of his bravado - never really letting it show. De however could not repress his emotions, so his fears showed through his clinging and tears upon waking. 

Although he had wanted to go and comfort his brother immediately, Sam had hesitated in the door. Cas was here now. Surely De would see him and immediately demand his Daddy's comfort. That hadn't happened however. De had only called for him. Had reached and grabbed for him. 

After a nod of encouragement from Cas, Sam had surged forward to where he now found himself embracing the slowly calming baby. De hadn't answered Sam's earlier question but his tears and sniffles were beginning to slow. 

Sam tried again. "You have a good nap baby?"

De finally pried his head out of Sam's neck to hesitantly ask "S-sammy gonned?"

Trying to lighten the mood a little Sam chuckled "No. No De. Sammy was just downstairs. I didn't go anywhere."

Hope sparked a little in the baby's eyes even as he sniffled as he asked again "Not gonned?"

"Nope. Not gone. Just downstairs" Sam confirmed as he wiped away the last trickle of tears from his brother's cheeks, smiling as De leaned into the touch. "And I'm not going anywhere either. I'm never leaving you, you're my brother."

At those words De turned in Sam's embrace to hug him tighter and Sam clung back just as tightly. Patting at De's back, Sam lifted his eyes to meet those of the angel who had stayed back to watch in the entrance of the nursery. Sam was worried that Cas would be upset at not being given his baby back immediately, but all he found on the face of the angel was a calm and happy smile. Cas had watched on, warmed by the sight before him. He would never begrudge the brothers time together. 

When De finally relaxed in his hold once again, Sam adjusted the baby better in his arms so that he was sat up facing the room a bit more than he had been previously. How De had gone this long without noticing that Cas was there he would never know. But now it was time to rectify that. 

Sam made a rough gesture to Castiel that indicated that the angel should play along. It was a gesture that was familiar to all of them as they used it when out on hunts and needed the other to go along with whatever story they were concocting at the current time. Although hampered a little by holding De, Sam figured Castiel had gotten the message as the man nodded and leaned back against the doorframe to wait. 

Once De was settled comfortably in his arms once more, Sam cheekily asked again "So! Did you have a nice sleep baby?"

At De's soft smile and small nod he continued, "Well that’s good. You need lots of energy to play huh? And lots of things happened while you were napping." 

De snuggled himself comfortably in Sam's arms and just looked up at Sam curiously, waiting for Sam to fill him in. He stuffed his fingers in his mouth to suck on while he waited. It must be something good 'coz Sammy looked excited. Maybe they were having pie for lunch?

As it became evident that De wasn't going to ask, Sam continued with his chatter to the baby. "Yeah. Someone came to the house while you were napping. Do you know who it could be?"

De shook his head and waited for Sammy to tell him.

"Let's find out" Sam exclaimed and freed and arm to be able to point, drawing the baby's attention the way he wanted it to go. So far De had kept his eyes firmly on his big brother.

"Who's that baby?" he asked excitedly. 

Curious to who could have gotten Sammy in such a good mood, De turned his eyes to where his big brother was pointing and finally noticed the figure that was stood leaning in the doorway. The figure that looked remarkably like…."Daddy?" he questioned hesitantly, not quite wanting to believe that what he was seeing was real. Unconsciously De clutched tighter to his brother, comforting himself just in case it wasn't who he thought it was.

Bouncing and jiggling the baby a bit, Sam amusedly asked again "Who's that baby? Is it your Daddy?"

Lifting his head a bit more from where it had been leaning on his Sammy's shoulder De raised a fist to scrub at his still sleepy eyes and asked a bit more loudly "Da-daddy?"

Finally entering the room a little bit instead of hovering in the doorway Cas greeted his baby with a warm and gentle smile saying "Hi baby! Daddy missed you!"

Hearing the unmistakable sound of his Daddy's gravelly voice finally convinced De that his Daddy really was back. With a loud shout of "Daddy!" De leapt out his big brother's hold to launch himself right into the arms of the man he had missed so much. 

Cas, having anticipated his baby's next move had opened his arms wide and as soon as De was within them he scooped his baby right up off of the floor and into a tight hug. It had been less than a full day, and yet Castiel had missed the feeling of having his boy in his arms more than anything. "Hey there baby," Cas breathed as he held his baby close, "Daddy missed you so much!"

Dean bounced elatedly in his Daddy's arms basically chanting the word "Daddy!" over and over again, the word blurring together. 

Cas held and swayed his baby in his arms, gently talking to him as they enjoyed being together again. "I know! I know baby! I'm home! Yes its very exciting!"

Eventually however Castiel noticed that De's excited chanting had slowly turned into hiccupped cries, though the chanting of his Daddy's name continued. 

"Oh baby, no! No tears! It's ok, it's all ok sweetheart. You're ok and Daddy's home. Don't cry De, don't cry" Cas cooed as he began to bounce around the room and pat rhythmically at De's padded bottom. As Cas noted that he would need to change De soon, he caught the eye of Sam who gestured that he would be downstairs - giving Cas some time to comfort the distressed baby. 

As Sam departed, Castiel continued his litany of comfort as De continued his repetitions as they walked around the room. 

It took a while but eventually De's cries tapered off until he was merely sniffing against his Daddy's shoulder. 

"Hey there sweetheart. What were all those tears about then?" Cas asked as he came to stand still in the middle of the nursery. 

Though muffled by being pressed into Castiel's shoulder De mumbled "Missed you!"

"I missed you too baby, but I'm here now. We're together now and everything is ok, everything is ok" Cas replied, placing a kiss onto the top of De's head. 

Cas spent some more time calming De down before finally he managed to gather a smile out of De through a few well placed tickles. 

"There he is! There's my happy baby!" Cas crowed as he tickled some more. "Now. How about we get you changed?"

Cas laid De down on the table and swiftly began to strip the baby of his soaked diaper and asked "So did you have a nice time with Sammy?"

"Yeh!" De cheered as he kicked his feet excitedly. 

"Stay still please" Cas chided, though he kept a soft smile on his face, "What did you get up to with Sammy then?"

De proceeded to tell his Daddy all about the things he'd done with his big brother. Unfortunately, he was mostly unintelligible due to having stuffed his fingers in his mouth as well as talking really fast in his excitement at sharing his news and his Daddy's return. Castiel didn't mind though, he just enjoyed being with his happy baby. 

Change complete, Castiel scooped his baby up off the table and settled him comfortably on his hip. "That sounds so exciting baby! But I have another exciting surprise for you! It's downstairs where Sammy's waiting. Shall we go see?"

With De's happy squeal of agreement, Cas carried the baby downstairs to the kitchen. Cas was just about to announce their arrival and thus give away the surprise when De was plucked right out of his arms to be swept up in the air. 

"There he is! I've been waiting to see you!" Gabriel cheered as he twirled around the kitchen with De held high above his head.

De squealed wildly as he was swung around by his Uncle Gabe. This was the best ever! He had his Sammy and his Daddy came home and now his Uncle Gabe was here too!

Cries of "Gabriel stop!" and "You'll make him sick!" came from two separate directions in the kitchen, and it was this that made Gabriel pause in his twirling and lower the baby to rest on his hip. 

Naturally he had expected the protest from Castiel, but he hadn't expected one from Sam. Turning around he smirked as he met the gaze of a brightly blushing Sam who had obviously surprised himself as well. 

Feeling generous Gabriel gave Sam a pass on the teasing this time, though did shoot the tall man a knowing look. "They're just spoilsports aren't they De?" Gabe said as he kissed the gleeful baby on the forehead. Seeing as De had once again stuffed fingers deep into his mouth, the reply was once again un-decipherable, but Gabriel just continued as though he understood perfectly. "Yeah I know right!"

Castiel chose that moment to pluck his baby out of Gabriel's grasp and back into his arms. "Stop riling my baby up and go make lunch you menace" Cas chided, bouncing a giggling De in his arms. 

"No fun, any of you" Gabe mumbled, though he was grinning as he cheerfully made his way over to start pulling ingredients from the fridge, messing up Sam's hair as he passed. Items gathered Gabriel began humming to himself as he made himself busy at the counter chopping up as yet unidentified food stuffs. 

Standing in the middle of the room, Sam watched Gabriel begin and was sure that whatever he produced was sure to be delicious. It had only been a few days since Gabriel had left, but Sam had sure missed the archangel's cooking. Especially after having had to make food for himself and De. 

Glancing over, Sam saw that Castiel had taken his usual seat at the kitchen table and had settled De comfortably on his lap. Cas was cooing and chatting away to the baby who looked overjoyed just to be with his Daddy. 

Suddenly Sam was unsure what exactly he should do. After being so involved with watching De for every last moment over the last day he was now at a loss for what to do with himself. For where he fit. 

He needn't have worried, as just a moment later he was reminded exactly of his place. 

"Sammy!" De cried, waving an arm out trying to get his attention. 

"Yes De?" he asked as he came over, only to have his hand grabbed.

"Sammy! Sammy! Sammy!" De crowed happily which just left Sam looking down at him confusedly. 

"I believe he just wants his big brother Sam" Castiel clarified, "He's just been telling me all about the O's you made him". 

"Oh yeah. So delicious right De?" Sam laughed ironically. 

"O's!" the baby cheered again, causing everyone to laugh. 

"You cooked? And the world didn't end?" Gabriel teased from in front of the stove. 

With that joking comment, the small family launched into a happy and teasing conversation. Words flowed easily as they eased back into spending time together. And Sam realised that he was exactly where he was meant to be. With his family. It didn't matter if he was the little brother, big brother, son or friend. What mattered was that he was surrounded by people who loved him - not for what he could do or what role he played. But for simply being him.


End file.
